


Go Big or Go Home

by Ninabluesky



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Drama, Emison - Freeform, F/F, Light Angst, PLL, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-05-20 01:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninabluesky/pseuds/Ninabluesky
Summary: Hi guys, so this is a mini story, still not sure how many chapters...Context: Season 7, the girls find out that Alison got pregnant with Emily's eggs. But, in here, Paige decides to stay for Emily…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, so this is a mini story, still not sure how many chapters...
> 
> Context: Season 7, the girls find out that Alison got pregnant with Emily's eggs. But, in here, Paige decides to stay for Emily…

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_I'm going to tell you a secret… magic doesn't exist… fairy tales are no real… we like to think we can have it all, but we can't… we will not… and, no matter how much you want it, reality will reach you and then, you just give it up… you give up on love…_ **

The blonde has completely zoned out. She was so calm, sleeping in her sofa and then, her peace just got interrupted when she looked up and saw Paige's face; the blonde wasn't sure of what was coming up till she looked around and, there she was… Emily… Emily and Paige inside her house, together…

'We knocked, it was open', that's what Paige said and, Alison couldn't care less since the only she can focus right now, it's on seeing Paige and Emily holding hands. Alison stares at their hands, she stares at the girls, at the couple and with a sad sigh, she realizes what this means…

Emily. – "Ali…"

The brunette starts talking but, honestly Alison has completely zoned out…

Paige. – "Alison, are you hearing what we're saying…?"

Alison gets out of her trance and says. – "Huh? Oh… ah… yeah… I… I… I'll think about it…"

Emily. – "You'll think about it?!" (She says a little angry) "What kind of an answer is that?!"

If getting this unexpected and unpleasant visit wasn't enough, Emily rising her voice was just the cherry on the top…

Alison snaps. – "Look EMILY! This is my body, I didn't ask for this, I got pregnant with your eggs against my will, so yeah! Like I told you last night! I'll think about it, I'm still thinking about it, so back off!"

Emily pleads. – "Ali, please, I want to rise this baby…" (She holds Paige's hand and says) "We want to rise this baby… you don't have to worry about anything, I'm not asking you to be part of his life… you have to do nothing else besides giving birth…"

The brunette says those words, thinking it would make Alison feel better but, her harsh words had the opposite effect on the blonde and, Emily notices it when those blue eyes burst in tears…

Emily gulps hard. – "Ali…?"

The brunette sees pain in Alison's eyes, so much pain and, her 1st impulse is to rush towards Alison and hug her, comfort her but, she hesitates, she's not sure if she should approach and sadly she loses her chance to do something when the blonde says angry…

Alison yells angry. – "Get out! GET OUT!"

The blonde pushes both girls outside her house and when the door closes, she falls apart on the floor… tears fall from her blue eyes because it hurts… it really hurts that Emily wasn't considering Alison's feelings, the brunette wasn't considering the possibility of letting Alison be part of the baby's life and that, that broke, even more, Alison's heart…

**_(In the Brew, the next day)_ **

Thinking she would find comfort on 'those' she calls her friends, Alison tells the girls, everything that happened last night…

Alison says angry. – "WHO the HELL she thinks I'M?! HUH?! I'm not a fucking laying hen!" (She runs a hand through her hair and says with a bitter voice) "She can't just expect me to go with it, it's like she wants me to be her surrogate mother…"

The blonde keeps talking and talking; talking about it, it felt good till she realizes that she was talking alone, the other girls have saying nothing and looking at the girls, Alison was far to receive any comfort from them…

Alison mumbles. – "You're not saying anything…?!"

The girls look at each other in silence and, Alison finally gets it… they're on Emily's side…

Spencer. – "This is an awful situation, but if Emily wants the baby, she has the right to keep it…"

Hanna. – "Yeah… and, you kind of owe her that…"

Alison. – "WHAT?!"

Hanna. – "Look, if it wasn't because of you! We wouldn't be in this fucking situation! We were fine, living our lives till you asked us to come… I killed someone because of YOU!"

Aria. – "Hann… don't say it so loud, someone could hear you!"

The three girls start talking between each other and, that's it, Alison finally gets it, Alison finally realizes she will always be the outsider of the group, the one to blame, the evil in their lives; and realizing she's completely alone, tears, once again, rolls over her cheeks. The girls realize how badly their words hurt the blonde but, before they could apologize, their Ex Queen Bee was already gone…

**_(In Rosewood school)_ **

Sitting alone on the teachers room, Alison was looking sadder than ever. Her puffy eyes were tired for so much crying, but even then, tears were keep coming without stop. She hears noises of people coming in and, she quickly clears her tears and settles her gaze to the window, trying to avoid any eye-contact with whoever was coming in.

Emily and Paige came inside and when Emily sees the blonde who's standing there with red eyes; Emily feels once again the impulse to approach and hug the blonde, to hold her tight and let her know that everything will be okay but, before she can do anything, all the teacher come in and, once again, she loses her chance to do what her heart was telling her to do…

Alison was with her gaze settled far away when all the teachers came in. By the corner of her eyes, she sees Emily and Paige together and she just groans rolling her eyes, disgusted, angry but, mostly hurt. She can't handle this situation right now, she can't handle her emotions right now and, she tries to run away like she always does it but, the principal stops her when he says…

Principal. – "Ms. Rollins please stay, you need to hear this…" (He looks at all the teachers and says) "Ok, so, I'm glad you're all here, I would like to tell you something…" (He clears his throat) "Well, I would like to introduce you our new counselor…"

A blonde girl appears behind the principal and someone recognizes her very well…

Emily. – "Samara?"

Samara smiles. – "Emily?! What a surprise!"

Feeling jealous, Paige holds tighter Emily's hand and, Alison just rolls her eyes and huffs…

Alison. – "Great… another EX…"

Principal. – "Ms. Rollins, did you say something?"

Alison says while she walks towards the door. – "Nothing… and please call me Miss. DiLaurentis…"

Principal gasps while he sees the blonde leaving. – "Miss DiLaurentis, you can't leave! I haven't finished…"

The blonde keeps walking, without caring that the Principal was still talking, she's pissed off, and everyone noticed it…

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_So delicate it's the human heart… so delicate and fragile. You try to protect it, putting walls around it, putting signs and warnings which say: 'don't get closer!'… you avoid feelings… emotions… attachments but, no matter how much you try…. The heart doesn't get it, the heart doesn't listen to reasons, it just follows its own will... It just falls in love..._ **

Someone knocks the door of her classroom and, Alison looks up. The blonde raises an eyebrow because she doesn't understand why this person is here looking for her...

Samara. - "Hi..."

Before the new counselor could say something, Alison nasty says...

Alison. - "If you're looking for Emily, she's not here..."

The ex Queen Bee is in a really bad mood, Samara can see it too but, even then, she doesn't turn around, she steps forwards...

Samara. - "I'm not looking for Emily, I'm here to see you…"

Alison. - "Me?! Why?!"

Samara says while she walks toward the blonde who's grading papers in her desk...

Samara. - "Well, this morning, when the principal was welcoming me and introducing me with all of you, you gave me the impression that you weren't happy with the news, maybe my presence makes you angry and, I would like to know why..."

Alison rolls her eyes and, settles her look once again towards the exams she was reviewing. Samara gets comfortable sitting on the desk, beside Alison and, realizing that samara will not just go away, the blonde English teacher says...

Alison. - " My bad mood has nothing to do with you..."

Samara nods. - "OK... Glad to hear that…"

Alison keeps grading but, she stops when she notices that the other girl is still there...

Alison looks up at her and, says angry. - "Do you need something else?!

One of the reason she became a high school counselor, it's because she has this intuition to see when people need help, helping others has always brought happiness to her life and, looking at Alison, looking at her puffy sad eyes, Samara sees so much sorrow and loneliness in those blue eyes that, she feels the urge to somehow help Alison...

Samara. - "You're in pain..."

Alison looks down at the papers she was grading and resumes her work, completely ignoring the other blonde ** _. Alison DiLaurentis doesn't admit when she's hurt, Alison DiLaurentis doesn't talk about feelings with ANYONE! Alison DiLaurentis doesn't open up_** … the English teacher keep thinking about how she's and decides to ignore Samara; Alison thinks that her silence treatment will force Samara to turn around and, walk away but, the blonde counselor stays, and that... that particular aspect of Samara, it's what will make all the difference...

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_So delicate it's the human heart… so delicate and fragile. You try to protect it, you try to follow the signs, the warnings, you avoid getting hurt… but... how long can you ignore your heart?_ **

Waving the spoon inside her coffee in what's her new office, Emily ignores how long she has been there, just spacing out. The brunette should feel happy; she had Paige, she had a job… between all the chaotic situation of AD, life was good with Emily; so,  ** _why she wasn't happy?_**  Emily asks herself that question as she settles her gaze far away, trying to figure out what is really happening with her, the brunette realizes she's feeling uneasy because of one only person... Alison.

Feeling compelled to look for Alison and, check on her, Emily asks Paige to take care of her class of the 2d period. Without asking why, Paige agrees and, Emily walks through the hallways of the school, she walks in direction of the English classroom and, with each step she makes, her heart feels more uneasy than ever…

Emily is determined to talk with Alison, to really talk with the blonde and figure out what they want, what Alison wants... Emily is getting closer to Alison's classroom and, Emily smiles when she notices the door is open; she slowly steps forwards but, she freezes on the door frame when she sees something…

Samara says while hugging Alison. – "It's okay… it's gonna be okay…"

Alison sobs and grips hard on Samara with despair. And looking at this scene, looking at the broken blonde, looking at Samara comforting Alison… something cracks inside Emily's heart…

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_So, how long can you ignore your heart? How long can you burry your own feelings, your own desires? How long it takes you to figure out what you really want… your true desire... your true love...? How long?_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, this chapter will start some days after the previous chapter and, one of the moments in this chapter will be like their talk in 7x15.
> 
> Hope you like it and, thank you in advance if you've the time to leave a review, have a great weekend!

 

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_So, how long can you ignore your heart? How long can you burry your own feelings, your own desires? How long it takes you to figure out what you really want... your true desire... your true love... your true happiness? How long?_ **

(In Rosewood school)

It was lunch break and all the teachers were in the teachers room...

Paige says louder. – "EMILY! Are you listening me?!"

Emily nods without looking at her into the eyes. – "Uh?! Ah.... Yeah... yeah...."

Paige doesn't buy it, she knows that she has been talking to the emptiness for half an hour and when she turns her head to see what Emily is watching without blinking, Paige just sighs heavy...

Alison teases. – "So, tell me, did you already get tired of hearing all my whining?"

Samara just chuckles with Alison's comment while she's preparing tea for the two of them. For the past week, these two colleagues have been talking a lot, something that's very unusual for Alison because the ex QB is not someone who likes to talk about her true emotions, her true fears... but, there's something in the new counselor that has compelled Alison to just open up with Samara and, till now, she doesn't regret it... but, she's afraid, Alison is afraid that all her issues might be too much for Samara... but they aren't...

Samara smiles. – "You know, Alison, I really believe that I could hear you whining everyday of my life and, I would never get tired of it..."

Alison smiles with a little of blush in her cheeks and Emily almost breaks her cup of coffee while she looks at the blushing red cheeks of the English teacher...

Samara says while she gives a cup of tea to Alison. – "So, are we still good for today at 4pm?

Alison nods with a little of hesitation and Samara rubs Alison's arm in order to make her feel better and, Alison smiles feeling the warm contact of Samara hand and looking at the warm look of the counselor.

The touch... the look in their eyes... the tiny smile in Alison's lips... Emily can't stand it and, before her brain understands why she's feeling like this, Emily's body was already standing from the sofa and walking towards the two blondes. Alison was going to say something to Samara but, when she sees Emily walking towards them, she just seals her lips and turns her body in direction of the coffee machine which is beside them, avoiding eye-contact. Samara raises an eye-brow when she sees how Alison changes her posture and she was going to ask Alison why when the brunette approaches...

Emily. – "Hi..."

Samara. – "Hello Emily... how are you?"

Emily replies without looking at her into the eyes. – "Fine... and you...?"

Samara starts talking and, Emily pretends to listen but, she's actually more focus in the other blonde who's ignoring her... Alison didn't say 'hi', she didn't say nothing at all...

(Ringing of the bell)

Alison mumbles. – "I've to go..." (She says while she tries to pass through the two girls) "Excuse me..."

The English teacher walks beside them with the look down and, Emily opens her mouth, she wants Alison to see her into the eyes, she wants to talk with Alison and while she's trying to figure out what she should do, Emily feels a familiar feeling when....

Samara grabs Alison's hand and Alison turns her head in direction of Samara. The English teacher smiles to the blonde counselor and Samara does the same.

Samara smiles. – "Today, 4 pm... ok?"

Alison nods and there's a little of resistance to let go of Samara's hand, but when the bell rings again; Alison leaves. The English teacher is gone but Samara keeps looking at the door, and thinking about Alison, a happy smile appears in her face and someone doesn't look happy for it...

Emily says with a bitter voice. – "I can see that you, two, have become close..."

Samara nods with a smile. – "She's a beautiful person, even if the world keeps telling her the contrary..."

Emily bites her inner cheeks, she was the only one who always said that about Alison, she was the only one who defended Alison, she was the only one who could really see Alison through all her masks... but.... It looks that, she's no longer the only one...

Samara looks at her watch. – "I should go too... have a nice day Emily, see you later..."

The counselor walks towards the door but, she stops when Emily grabs her arm...

Samara looks at Emily and raises an eyebrow. – "Something wrong, Emily?"

Emily takes a deep breath and says. – "What is happening at 4pm?"

Samara. – "What do you mean?"

Emily takes another deep breath, the familiar feeling getting stronger and stronger inside her...  _jealousy_.... Jealousy is a nasty thing... a familiar feeling Emily doesn't like but, she can't control it, especially when Alison is the responsible for it...

Emily says angry. – "Don't play dumb, Samara! I heard what you said to Alison: 'today, 4 pm'.... What is happening at 4pm?!"

Samara doesn't like Emily's tone, and she gets free of Emily's grip while she says with a serious voice...

Samara. – "Look Emily, my business with Alison are MY business with her... it doesn't concern you..." (She starts walking and says) "If you want to know what is happening in Alison's life, talk wit her, not with me... you will get nothing from me..."

Emily presses her lips together, frustrated and irritated, she just sees the blonde counselor walking away.  ** _Jealousy is a nasty thing_** , Emily thinks and while she thinks that, she realizes that someone else has been watching her all the time...

Emily. – "Paige..."

Paige doesn't say a word, she just looks at her angry and leaves very fast...

Emily sighs and rolls her eyes. – "Great... just great..."

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_So, how long it takes you to talk the truth, to say the right thing? How long can you play around, hurting others, including yourself? How long it takes you to figure out what to say, what to do...? How long?_ **

It was past 5pm, when Alison was getting out of Samara's office; the English teacher was the 1st one to get out of the meeting and beside her, a student was ready to leave...

The student look at Alison and says. – "Thank you, Miss. D..."

Alison. – "Why are you thanking me?"

The student. – "For noticing me... for noticing that I wasn't ok... that I'm not ok... and caring about it..."

Alison smiles and hugs her student. – "It's gonna be ok, Jonah..."

The boy smiles and hugs tight Alison before leaving. Both blonde look at the boy walking through the hallways...

Alison. – "Is he going to be ok?"

Samara. – "We will work hard to make it happen..."

Alison nods and Samara smiles while she sees how much Alison worries about her students...

Samara smiles. – "You saved a life today, you know?"

Alison sighs deeply. – "I did nothing... it was you the one who made him talk about his problems and his suicide thoughts..."

Samara. – "But, like he said, it was you, who noticed it, you sensed something in him and you didn't ignore it... and that... that will change his life for better..."

Alison sighs deeply and mumbles. – "If I just could do the same for me..."

Samara. – "And, what is blocking you?"

Alison looks at Samara into the eyes and the blonde counselor says...

Samara. – "You should talk with Emily..."

Alison. – "Why?"

Samara. – "Because you need it... even if you don't want to admit it..."

Alison sighs and says with a pout. – "Don't you get tired of always being right?"

Samara chuckles and pushes Alison to the hallways. – "Come on, Alison, I assure you that you'll feel better after talking with her..."

Samara is right, she needs to talk with Emily, she needs to make a decision about the baby. The clock is ticking, the time is never right but they can't keep avoiding the subject. This need to be addressed and even if it's terrifying to see how this will go, Alison has to make the 1st step.

With a little of hesitation, Alison walks on the hallways of the school and while she approaches to the pool, she can feel the sweat in her palms, the erratic breathing and the nervous chill running all over her body, but against all discouragement; she steps forwards to talk from the heart; she steps forwards till...

Emily says very loud. – "Paige, wait!"

Paige stops walking and Alison stays in a position where she can't be seen...

Paige. – "This was a mistake..."

Emily. – "What?"

Paige. – "Me... staying, it was a mistake..."

Emily shakes her head. – "Don't say that..."

Paige. – "Emily, look at me into the eyes and be honest with me, what do you want?"

Emily stays with the mouth open, she's not sure of what she should say but, when she sees Paige resuming her walking; Emily panics and she says without thinking...

Emily pleads. – "Paige, don't leave ME!"

Paige turns and says. – "And why should I stay when it's obvious that you're more interested in Alison..."

Emily. – "What?!"

A tiny smile appears in Alison's face but that smile vanishes when...

Emily. – "You got it all wrong, I've no interest in Alison, my only interest is in my baby..."

Paige. – "Are you sure about it? Are you sure that you've no feelings for Alison?"

Emily hesitates on how she should reply but when she sees that Paige is ready to leave again, she panics again and says without thinking on the consequences of her harsh words...

Emily. – "Do you really think I want to be in this position? Do you really think I wish for this?! I didn't! I'm trapped in this sick situation because of Alison and, I hate it..."

A tear falls down Alison's cheek...

Emily. – "I just care about my baby which  _sadly_  Alison is carring..." (sighs) "I just want the baby... just that..."

_Sadly... sadly... sadly_... Alison walks out without being seen and all she can think, it's that word:  _sadly..._

* * *

****

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_So, how long it takes you to realize words hurt more than actions? How long can you keep hurting someone without thinking on the consequences? How long it takes you to figure out that it's now or never? How long?_ **

(In Alison's house)

It was late at night when Emily decided to pass by and check on Alison; with the door open, she rushes inside, worried that AD had done something to the blonde, she gets inside the house, looking for Alison...

Emily. – "Ali...? Ali...?!"

The brunette turns her head in all the directions and then, looking at the hallway of the living room, she finally finds the blonde, sitting in the floor...

Emily sits at her side and says. – "Hey, what is wrong?"

     

With a sad look, settled far away, the blonde says...

Alison. – "I thought about it... about what it means... about what could mean... and..."

Emily. – "And...?"

Alison turns her head towards Emily and says with determination. – "I'm gonna have the baby..."

A big smile appears in Emily's lips but, she tries to hide it and ask, just to make sure that Alison will not change her mind...

Emily asks. – "Are you sure?"

Alison. – "No but, I've done a lot of bad things in my life... killing this baby will not be one of them..."

Emily mumbles. – "Thank you..."

A big smile appears in Emily's lips but, the smile gets tiny when Emily notices that Alison doesn't look happy...

Alison takes a deep breath and says. – "Ok... so, it's settled... I'll do it..."

Emily says while she holds Alison's hand. – "No... we will do it... together..."

_Together_... the word drops out of her mouth so easy and since the moment she said it, Emily's smile got bigger; who could think that a simple word could make her so damn happy...? Picturing the belly of Alison, growing bigger and bigger; imaging how glowing the blonde will look while the pregnancy progresses, picturing how lovely will be to see the birth of their child,  _their child_...

Emily daydreams with the future that she would love to see... Alison feeding their child, the 1st steps of the baby, the 1st words... a full movie plays inside Emily's head and in each one of the scenes, Alison is part of it. THEY, walking their child to the school; THEY, opening gifts below the Xmas tree; THEY, together, celebrating birthdays, Xmas... yes... a full movie of possible memories invades Emily's mind and, it's beautiful, it's beautiful to imagine all of that and, Emily's heart beats so fast, she's in cloud 9 till Alison says...

Alison. – "Together? There's no 'we', Emily..."

Alison gets her hand free from Emily and the brunette feels a painful emptiness when she stops holding Alison's hand...

Emily mumbles. – "Ali... I..."

Alison cuts her off and says with a bitter voice. – "I know that me... caring your baby is a  _sad_ burden for you..."

Emily. – "What? Ali, no... I..."

Alison cuts her off again and says with a cold voice. – "Look Emily, let be honest... you want this baby, well, you will have it and that's it..."

Emily says very confused. – "What do you mean?"

Alison says with a bitter voice. – "You said it before... all I have to do is to give birth... nothing more..."

Emily gulps hard, she remembers what she said, how she said it and realizing about the meaning of her own words, it hurts her badly... really badly... Once again, the movie plays inside Emily's mind but, this time, Alison is no longer part of it... she's not there and, a huge sorrow grows inside Emily's heart because she doesn't want this, she didn't mean what she said but, it's too late to take it back...

Emily. – "Ali... I..."

Alison. – "I will not be part of the baby's life..."

Emily mumbles with sorrow. – "What...?!"

Alison takes a deep breath and says. – "I'm doing this with some conditions, and one of them, it's that I don't want you to mention me in any of this..."

Emily gulps. – "What do you mean?"

Alison. – "The child doesn't need to know that I gave him birth..."

Emily gulps with watery-eyes...

Alison looks at her belly and says with a painful voice. – "I don't want him to know me... he doesn't need to know me at all..."

Emily says with sadness. – "Do you really want that?"

Alison nods

Emily gulps. – "One day, he might ask about how he got in this world..."

Alison. – "And you can tell him whatever you want but, don't mention me..."

Tears want to fall from her chocolate eyes but, Emily closes her eyes, trying to suppress them...

Alison stands up and says with a cold voice. – "It's late and I'm tired, go home, Emily..."

Emily is frozen in the floor, she will be a mother, she will get what she asked for but she's not happy... no, she's far to be happy...

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_So, how long it takes you to realize what you want? How long it takes you to realizes that it's too late for undo what you did? How long it takes you to realizes that you can lose everything in a blink of an eye? How long?_ **

* * *

**__ **

(In the Brew)

Samara. – "Are you sure that this is what you want?"

Alison drinks her tea and says. – "This is not about what I want, this is about what is the best for this kid... and it's on the best interested of the baby to don't be around me or vice versa..."

Samara. – "Alison..."

Alison cuts her off. – "I'm evil, I'm toxic... everyone knows that... eventually this kid will grow up and realize that too, so... this is the best for us..."

Samara. – "Alison, don't say that, y-..."

Alison says with pain. – "Do you know how it feels that no matter what you do, you'll always be pointed out like the villain, like the evil? Do you know how much it hurts to be treated like a leper? People keep leaving you alone, keep blaming you for everything bad in their life and you take it, you take it thinking that you deserve it..."

Samara holds Alison's hand and says. – "People have no right to put all in you... and you owe nothing to no one..."

Alison smiles and looking at their hands, says. – "You say that now because you're starting to know me, but with time, you will think the worse of me too and you'll eventually leave too... just like the rest of the world..."

Samara. – "Alison..."

Alison cuts her off. – "I can take the blame for everything, people can condemn me for all the bad in this world; I can take it, they can throw me all the rocks they want and, I can live with that but, I refuse to let this child to live with the burden of being related with me..." (Deep sighs) "I want him be happy, to have a normal life and if I'm in the picture, he will never get that... so..." (sad sigh) "For his happiness, for his well-being, I'm erasing me from the picture..."

Samara sighs deeply, she doesn't know what to say, what to do to make Alison feel better... but, is it really a right thing to say in moments like this?

Alison looks at her watch and says. – "It's late, they will close soon, we should leave..."

Samara nods and they take their bags.

Alison. – "Do you need a ride home?"

Samara. – "No, it's ok, the hotel is no so far from here?"

Alison raises an eyebrow. – "Hotel?"

Samara nods. – "Yeah... I'm staying at the Radley hotel..."

Alison. – "Why?"

Samara. – "Well, I've been looking for a place but, till now, all that's able in the market are houses and buying or rent a house is not in my budget..."

Alison. – "Living in a hotel is also very expensive..."

Samara nods. – "I know, but what other option, do I have? Living in my car is much worse..."

Alison nods and she stays in silence thinking about it...

* * *

**__ **

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_So, how long it takes you to act... to make it right? How long it takes you to follow your heart? How long it takes you to make your mind and do what you want? How long...?_ **

(In Spencer's barn)

Spencer approaches to serve more wine but Emily say 'no' at 1st but then, she changes her mind and Emily's cup of wine gets full again...

Emily. – "I have no right to ask her to be part of the baby's life, right?"

Spencer. – "Why are you asking me that?"

Emily rolls over the sofa and stares at the ceiling while she runs a hand through her hair.

Spencer. – "Aren't you with Paige...?"

Emily. – "I'm with Paige..."

Spencer. – "Then, why you're asking for Alison...?"

Emily gulps hard

Spencer. – "It's clear for me that you want this baby, but what you really need to figure out it's with WHO, you want to have this baby..."

We fall apart without reason... deep inside we know what we really need, what our heart is screaming us to do, but we're too afraid to follow it... too scared to fight for it, but no matter how much you fight against it, love... love will always strick straight to your heart. Let's just hope that's not too late when we decide to follow our heart...

Two bottles of wine and a long, very long talk with Spencer, it's what Emily needed to make her mind... In the middle of the night, the brunette walks towards the DiLaurentis house with shaking legs; Emily is shaking, feeling insecure, feeling uneasy but, mostly feeling a spark of enthusiasm of what could come after this... With shaking steps, Emily walks, she walks towards the door of the blonde and she rehearses the speech she's thinking to say to Alison...

Emily. – "There will be bridges for us to mend but, if we stick through it, we will be able to make it, we..."

(In Alison's front porch)

Samara. – "Don't!"

Alison raises an eyebrow while she's opening her trunk...

Samara says while she takes her baggage. – "You're pregnant..."

Alison. – "It's no so heavy..."

Samara insists, she takes inside the house all her things, not leaving Alison to do a thing and, Alison rolls her eyes...

Alison crosses her arms above her chest and says. – "Are you always going to be like that?"

Samara rubs her hands over Alison's arms and says while she looks at her into the eyes. – "If you 're asking if I'm going to be caring, thoughtful and always looking for your well-being... then the answer is 'yes'..."

Alison chuckles and shakes her head...

Samara smiles and she kisses Alison's cheek while she whispers in Alison's ear. – "Thank you, for letting me stay here..."

Alison smiles and blushes. – "You can stay all the time you want..."

Samara holds Alison's hand and says while she guides them inside...

Samara teases. – "Yeah... and, what about forever...?"

Alison bites her lips and blushes a lot. Alison looks at Samara in a way she has only seen someone else before and that person recognizes that look too. Frozen, without being able to move, Emily sees Samara and Alison getting inside the house.

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_How long...how many times we're going to repeat the same pattern? Are we able to break the vicious circle? Are we able to stand up for what we want? To fight for it, against reason, against hope, against all discouragement... are we really capable to fight for love? Am I ready to fight for love... for my true love...?_ **

Emily looks at the house, she hears the noisy laughs, the happy voice of Alison inside the house and she stays there, still no sure of what she should do...

_Go big or go home... what is the thing that this brunette will do?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, so this is short but, I’ll no be able to update soon so, I wanted to give you something. Hope you like it, and thank you in advance if you’ve the time to leave a review.

**_*** Emily’s narrative ***_ **

**_Change: we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can’t stop it from coming…_ **

**_(Teachers room)_ **

Emily. – “Something is wrong…”

Paige and Alison look at Emily with a perplexed gaze…

Alison. – “What do you mean…?”

Paige. – “Yeah, what are you talking about, Emily?”

Emily looks at the 2 of them, she crosses her arms and knows what she will say may sound silly, but she says it anyway…

Emily. – “You’re no fighting…”

Paige & Alison at unison. – “WHAT?!”

Emily takes a deep breath and continues. – “We have been spending more than an hour talking about the next school trip and you… the two of you… you… you’re not…”

Alison smirks. – “We’re not tearing each other apart?”

Emily shily nods and the ex QB chuckles as well as Paige…

Emily mumbles. – “I know it’s silly what I’m saying… I know but…”

Paige. – “But you’re right…” (She looks at Alison and says) “This is the 1st time we have a meeting without any issue… I’m also surprised…”

Alison smirks. – “Well, what I can’t say? I’m in a really nice good mood today…”

Emily asks. – “Really? Why…?”

Alison stays with the mouth open, she was going to reply but, the person who emerges inside the room reveals why the English teacher is in so good mood…

Samara smiles. – “Hi…”

Alison immediately smiles and glows of happiness when the counselor arrives and, the other two girls notice who Alison’s face just lit up with Samara’s presence…

Alison smiles. – “Sam…”

Emily rolls her eyes and mumbles. – “Uhg… I’m gonna get sick…”

Paige looks at Emily and asks. – “Why? You don’t feel good?”

Emily was going to reply but when she sees how Alison giggles and blushes each time that Samara plays with her hair, the brunette feels the impulse to leave the room…

Paige says while she sees Emily leaving the room without saying why. – “Emily… Emily!”

The brunette walks away and she just presses her fist against the lockers in the hallway… she’s so pissed, she’s so angry and the worse part… she doesn’t dare to admit why…

 

* * *

 

**_(In Spencer’s barn)_ **

Hanna. – “Why is my turn again!”

Spencer. – “I don’t know… we don’t make the rules…”

Hanna huffs. – “This suck…”

The blonde has been whining for a long time and she realizes that Emily hasn’t say a word, looking at the brunette, she doesn’t look good…

Hanna puts her hand over Emily’s shoulder and asks. – “Em… are you ok?”

Emily jumps. – “Huh? Oh… yeah… yeah… sure…”

Spencer stares at Emily’s look and she can tell Emily is lying but she doesn’t say anything since other girl’s arriving…

Hanna whines. – “You’re late!”

Alison rolls her eyes and says. – “Just for 5 minutes… besides, Aria isn’t here too…”

Spencer. – “She’s no coming, she’s assisting to Erza’s lecture of his book…”

Emily stares at Alison with a piercing look and the blonde notices it and doesn’t like it…

Alison. – “Why are you looking at me like that…?”

Emily. – “Why you’re late? You live just next door! You’ve no reasons to be late!”

Alison snaps. – “5 minutes! Just for 5 minutes of delay, I receive all this drama!”

Emily says angry. – “It’s no about the 5 minutes! It’s about you, flaking out on us!”

Alison. – “What?!”

Hanna and Spencer stares at the girls, no sure if they should intervene or step aside…

Alison. – “You’re too grumpy Emily…”

Emily. – “I’m no grumpy! I’m just saying what I see!”

Alison. – “Oh really! And what is the ‘thing’ you see?!”

Emily. – “You say you’ll be here at one hour and you’re not! You say you’re going to do things and then you end bailing…”

Alison. – “What the hell are you talking about?!”

Hanna. – “Yeah, Em… what is this about…? The only one who has been constantly bailing on us, it’s Aria…”

Spencer. – “Hann…”

Hanna shrugs. – “What?! It’s true! This is no the 1st time she leaves us dealing with AD alone! I don’t care if she’s getting married and she has a lot to deal with the wedding, she should be here!”

Hanna is right and, Emily realizes her comments were out of place but, it’s too late to take it back.

 

* * *

 

**_(At Rosewood school at night)_ **

Following Hanna’s game instructions, Hanna puts what AD asks her in the locker and leaves. Emily & Alison stay hidden, waiting for AD to show up. The air feels heavy between them and, Emily doesn’t like how they left things in Spencer’s barn…

Emily. – “Ali… look… I’m sorry, about earlier…”

Alison. – “I knew that pregnancy would come with some swings moods, I just never thought it would be yours…”

Emily rolls her eyes and once again, they wait in silence. Time was passing by too slow for Emily’s taste and, the fact that Alison was constantly looking at her phone wasn’t helping…

Emily. – “What are you looking at?” (She has a look on Alison’s phone and says) “Is that a rose…?”

Alison smiles. – “Yeah…” (She slips her finger over the phone and says with a smile) “I’ve more pictures of roses too…”

Emily. – “I didn’t know you liked to take pictures of roses…”

Alison. – “It’s not like that…”

Emily looks confused and Alison looks down, she takes a long moment to think about her feelings, about the past, about the present about the future and when she feels ready to explain herself a little better; the blonde looks up again, she stares at Emily into the eyes and, her look reflected how decided she’s with the next step in her life…

Alison. – “Each morning, when I wake up, I find a rose beside my pillow…”

Emily. – “What? Who would…?”

Alison cuts her off. – “Sam…” (She smiles) “Samara…”

Emily sighs heavy… Samara, the name of the girl she dated once, was becoming very hard to hear, especially when it came from Alison’s lips…

Alison. – “You’re upset…”

Emily avoids eye-contact, she doesn’t reply neither deny it…

Alison looks at the locker and says. – “I didn’t plan this… I’m not doing this to hurt you… but… when was the last time I blushed? When was the last time I felt beautiful? When was the last time someone gave me a rose? I never ask me all those questions till now and you know what’s the answer: this is the 1st time someone genuinely gives me a rose just to make me smile…”

Emily stays in complete silence while she thinks about Alison’s words and, the only thing the brunette can think it’s about why the hell she never gave a rose to Alison. A fucking rose, so simple, so cheap and even then, she never did it… she never thought about it and Emily scolds herself for it. Lost on her thought, Emily is just capable to get back to reality when Alison says…

Alison. – “Em…”

Emily looks at her into the eyes and when their eyes meet, the blonde says…

Alison. – “Em, I like Sam… I like her more than a friend…” (She says with watery-eyes) “And, I’m scared… I don’t know what to do… what should I do? What do you want me to do about it?”

Emily gulps hard, she doesn’t want to hear this, she doesn’t want to think about it and thankfully, she doesn’t need to say a word about it since a black hoodie appears. Both girl run to pursuit the hoodie, in the last minute, Emily goes in another way but when she hears Alison, whining with pain, she runs towards the blonde and without caring about the plan, she takes the blonde at her home…

 

* * *

 

**_(In Alison’s home)_ **

As soon as she saw the lights of the car, she came out to welcome her roomie but, when she saw Alison walking with difficulty, she felt so much fear for the 1st time in her life…

Samara says with concern. – “What happened?!”

The blonde counselor rushes towards them and, Emily feels a huge emptiness when Samara takes Alison into her arms…

Samara looks at Alison and asks. – “Are you ok?”

Alison leans her head over Samara’s chest and says with a smile. – “I’m now…”

Emily stares at the two of them, she sees the way they look at each other and she knows, she knows what those looks mean…

 

**_*** Emily’s narrative ***_ **

**_We either adapt to change, or we get left beside and, it hurts… it hurts to see how much things change…_ **

****

Samara looks at Emily and says. – “Thank you for bring her home, I got it from here…”

Emily wants to protest, she wants to be the one taking care of the blonde, in name of God! She has been Alison’s killer for so long and now, now, she has to step back?! The brunette thinks about it for too long and before she could say a word, she’s already alone in the dark.

Samara says while she’s closing the door. – “Good night, Emily; drive safe…”

The door closes, Emily looks at the house and, takes a deep breath before turning back and drive home.

 

* * *

 

**_(In the Brew)_ **

After leaving Alison with Samara, Emily went home but she couldn’t sleep at all. Each time she tried to fall asleep, she pictured in her mind, Alison and Samara together! And, her eyes immediately wildly stood open without a blink. With a lack of sleep, she went to the Brew to get a coffee…

Emily. – “An americano, please…”

She was going to pay for her coffee but someone behind her pays her bill…

Samara. – “I will pay this for you…”

Emily sighs heavy. – “Why?”

Samara. – “Well, Ali told me you took good care of her last night so… please allow me to do this, it’s my way to show you my gratitude…”

Emily looks at her coffee and she gets a bitter sweet taste from it, just because Samara paid for it…

Samara. – “Do you’ve a moment? I would like to ask you something…”

Emily wants to say ‘not but her head nods before she can formulate any word. They sit in a table and the blonde plays with her cup of coffee while Emily gets annoyed by the waiting…

Emily stands up and says. – “If you’re no gonna say anything! I have better things to do…”

The brunette starts walking away, but she completely stops moving when she hears…

Samara. – “I think I’m falling in love with Alison…”

Emily closes her fist so hard than her plastic cup of coffee breaks and all the hot liquid spills. The contact of the hot coffee with her hand, it hurt her but no more than the words she was hearing from the blonde because she knew that Alison was developing feelings for her too…

Samara. – “I… I didn’t plan this but, I can’t stop it… and you’re her closer friend and…”

Emily snaps. – “And what?!” (She sits again in the chair and says angry) “Why you’re telling me this?! WHY?!”

Both girls look at each other into the eyes and the blonde speaks with honesty…

Samara. – “Because she’s caring your baby, because you’re her ‘Emily’, because you mean so much for her even if you don’t see it…”

Emily rolls her eyes, she doesn’t believe she’s special for Alison…

Samara. – “I don’t know what is your ‘thing’ with Alison but I want to be honest with you… I like her a lot and I’m planning to do something about it…”

Samara stands up and she was leaving the table when Emily says…

Emily. – “Seriously, why you’re telling me this? Why? Are you expecting me to stop you?! Do you want my blessing?! What the hell do you want?!”

Samara replies. – “I know what I want, Emily… the question here is: what you want?”

 

**_*** Emily’s narrative ***_ **

**_Yeah… we don’t like the ‘change’… I don’t like ‘change’. But here’s the truth: the more things change, the more we realize, we need to be bold, to change for good because time flies, time waits for no one and if I don’t stand up now and fight for what I want… tomorrow maybe too late…_ **

* * *

 

**(In Rosewood school)**

Alison was grading some papers in her desk; she looks at her watch and looking at the hour, she decides to get something to eat. Normally, she would be ok with just a little snack from the machines of the hallway but, since she decided to continue with the pregnancy; she also decided to feed herself and the baby better.

She was ready to go out and eat something outside when someone rushes inside her classroom without notice…

Alison says surprised. – “Em…? Em, wh-….?”

Emily enters like a bull, she’s angry but mostly, she’s frustrated with the situation. She doesn’t allow Alison to say another word since without asking permission, she cups Alison’s cheeks with her hands and roughly kisses her. Alison feels Emily’s tongue getting deeply inside her mouth and she just wildly opens her eyes with the intromission. The make out was desperate, messy and lusty.

Following her most lusty desires, Emily pushes Alison against the desk and smoothly roams her hands over Alison’s legs. The blonde breaks the kiss when she sees how Emily opens her legs and was ready to pin her, right there, in the desk. Alison looks at Emily in the eyes and she just sees them so dark of lust…

Emily mumbles. – “I want you… now…”

Alison wasn’t sure how to take this, she wasn’t sure of what she should feel about this but before she could think or say something, Emily was already pinning her, right there, in her classroom. The brunette makes her way with the English teacher, she pins the blonde and makes her moan. With each moan of the blonde, all Emily can think, it’s that maybe it’s no too late to get what she wants…


	4. Chapter 4

 

  ** _Go Big or Go Home – part 4_**

 

**_*** Emily’s narrative ***_ **

**_At some point, you’ve to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can cross them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross and if you cross them wrong, then, you just fuck your own fate…_ **

****

**_(Alison’s classroom)_ **

Alison lies down against her desk, all her papers fall to the floor; the blonde tries to suppress her moans but, Emily knows how to touch her and where, Alison reaches her climax and her orgasmic climax is so loud that someone walking on the hallways hear them…

Paige gasps in shock. – “OMG?!”

Emily turns around and a wave of guilt fills her body.

Emily. – “Paige! No… I…”

With sorrow on her eyes, Paige walks away and without hesitation, Emily runs after her without looking back. Everything passed so fast and, one moment, Emily was inside her and then she was gone, leaving her alone after what they done.

Alison looks at her messy make-up, at her wetness between her legs and she stares at the empty room because the brunette just left. This moment brings back old memories of the past. Alison recalls the night they spend together so many years ago in her bed and she recalls too how easy Emily walked away without ever care.

Feeling dirty and used, Alison cries in silence while she collects the papers and clean the mess.

 

**_(In the parking of the school)_ **

Emily. – “Paige, wait, Paige, please!”

The brunette puts her hand over Paige shoulder but, the other girl just pushes her away angry.

Paige. – “Don’t you dare to touch me with that hand!”

Emily presses her lips together, she feels a huge shame for her own actions…

Emily mumbles with sorrow. – “I’m sorry…”

Paige. – “Why you asked me to stay?! Why I stayed, even if I knew…”

Emily. – “You knew what…?”

Paige looks at Emily and she just gets angrier when Emily doesn’t dare to realize her own feelings…

Paige. – “It has always been her…”

Emily. – “What?!”

Paige huffs angry and opens the door of her car but, Emily puts her hands on the door, trying to avoid them to close.

Paige. – “Let me go, Emily…”

Emily panics. – “No… please I…”

Paige snaps. – “You what?!” (Sighs) “This is no the 1st time you cheat on me…”

Emily gulps hard while she recalls her dark days in California

Emily. – “Back then, I was in a dark place because my Dad passed away, I wasn’t myself…”

Paige says angry. – “And today! What is your excuse?!”

Emily presses her lips together since she has no excuse for her lame behavior. Paige gets inside her car and says before driving away…

Paige. – “The position in California is still open, I will take it…”

Emily. – “Paige, I…”

The brunette drives away and Emily just stays there in the middle of the parking alone. She stood a long period of time spacing out and, so consumed by her guilt and shame that she never thought about coming back inside to check in the other girl… 

 

**_*** Alison’s narrative ***_ **

**_How many times have you been heartbroken? How many times have you left someone break your heart? How many hearts, have you break? How many times have you break someone? How many times someone has broken you? Really broken you… how many is too many? It must be nice to love someone who lets you break them more than twice… but it’s not…_ **

**_(In Alison’s house)_ **

Samara walks inside the house and gets concerned when she hears the sobs coming from the bathroom.

Samara. – “Ali?”

She knocks but without a reply, she hesitates on walking away or step inside.

 

**_*** Samara’s narrative ***_ **

**_Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life. That’s why you need to choose wisely, because we don’t get unlimited chances to have the things we want…_ **

 

Samara slowly opens the door of the bathroom and her heart breaks in pieces when she sees Alison, just covering her wet body with a towel, crying on the floor.

Samara says while she approaches. – “Ali… what happened? Ali…”

The blonde counselor tries to touch her but Alison snaps…

Alison. – “Don’t touch me!”

Samara steps back and Alison says with a wrenching voice. – “Don’t touch me... I’m dirty… I’m disgusting…”

The English teacher is a mess and she can’t stop crying. Samara doesn’t know what to do but she decides to sit beside her, with a little gap between. They spend hours like that, till Alison’s sobs calm down…

Samara asks. – “Can you tell me what is wrong? Why you’re like this?”

Alison. – “If I told you that my heart hurt so much sometimes I want to rip it from my chest with my own little hands… it would be that enough?”

Samara. – “No… it’s not enough, that just makes me more worried…”

Alison chuckles with a bitter tone. – “You’re too nice for me… I really don’t deserve someone like you in my life… you deserve so much better…”

Samara doesn’t like how low Alison thinks about herself, she doesn’t care what the hell happened, she only wants to hug the blonde and shows her how much she cares about her but, the moment she tries to get closer, Alison looks at her and stops her…

Alison. – “NO!”

Samara. – “Why? And don’t say again you’re dirty or disgusting or…”

Alison cuts her off. – “I had sex with Emily…”

Samara stays speechless, she wasn’t expecting this. Alison avoids eye-contact, she doesn’t want to see Samara into the eyes…

Alison gulps. – “She fucked me in the classroom and I let her…” (Sad chuckle) “I always let her to fuck me whenever she wants… I wonder why…”

Samara takes a deep breath and says. – “We accept the love we think we deserve…”

Alison chuckles with sadness because Samara couldn’t be more accurate…

(Silence)

Samara asks with a little of fear. – “Can you tell me how it happened?”

Alison. – “Do you really want to know?”

They look at each other into the eyes and the blonde replies…

Samara. – “I need to know…”

Alison takes a deep breath and talks without stop and Samara just listen. After so much talking, Alison imagines Samara is thinking the worse of her and she doesn’t blame her for it but, when she looks at Samara, the other blonde just looks at her with so much tenderness that Alison doesn’t understand why…

Alison. – “I’m a horrible person…”

Samara. – “You did a terrible thing. It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person…”

Alison snaps. – “How you can act so cool about this?! You’re no angry with me?! You…”

Samara cuts her off. – “I believe sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you’ve to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they’re the only way to find out who we really are… and I really believe in you Alison…” (She looks at her into the eyes and says) “I believe in you, even if you don’t believe in yourself…”

Alison looks down and mumbles. – “Why you’re so nice with me…?”

Alison was staring at her hand which was gripping on the towel and Samara softly puts her hands over Alison’s hands when she confesses…

Samara. – “Because I have feelings for you…”

Alison looks in shock. – “What? Why?!”

Samara shrugs

Alison. – “Even after everything I told you today? Even after all the bad I’ve done, even…”

Samara cuts her off. – “Even if you think you’re the most terrible person in this world, in front of my eyes you’re just a wonderful human being. A human who wants more than just to survive, you want love, you deserve love but Ali…”

Alison looks at her into the eyes…

Samara. – “You deserve a great love, an unconditional love… you deserve a better love than this…”

Alison takes seriously Samara’s words and she smiles a little when she leans her head over Samara’s shoulder…

Alison mumbles. – “I like you too… more than a friend but I’m a complete mess right now…”

Samara nods. – “I know… I can wait… I’m not going anywhere…”

Alison smiles and looks at Samara when she says…

Alison. – “Would you like to order some Chinese food and get really fat with me?”

Samara chuckles and nods. – “Off course… “ (She teases) “But this time, you’ll order 2 box of noodles for you… I’ll no share with you my noodles…”

Alison. – “Why?!”

Samara smirks. – “Because last time, you ate them all! Seriously, you’ve a great Appetit, I’ll no stay hungry another night because of you…”

Alison chuckles and Samara helps her to stand up…

Alison smiles. – “Thank you…”

Samara. – “Wherefore?”

Alison hugs her and says. – “For being you… just you…”

Samara hugs her too and smiles, feeling that she’s just getting closer and closer to the blonde…

 

**_*** Alison’s narrative ***_ **

**_We screw up, we lose our way. Even the best of us have our off days. Still, we need to move forward because we don’t have time to fall apart…_ **

 

**_(In Emily’s house)_ **

It’s very late but Emily is still outside her house. Sitting in the stairs of the porch, she looks up, trying to find any answer in the stars…

Emily says to the sky. – “I mean, what the hell is going on? What’s the point? I mean, is there a reason for this? Because if you can think of a reason, any reason at all, why the universe is so screwed and random and mean, now would be an amazingly good time to tell me, because I really need some answers…”

The brunette prays for answers and what she gets it’s an angry blonde…

Alison. – “We need to talk…”

Emily shakes her head and replies. – “No now, Ali… please, no now… I can’t… I…”

The brunette stands up and tries to get inside her house but, Alison stops her when she yells…

Alison. – “If you walk away now, tomorrow will be too late. There’s too much mess under us and, I’m done with just ignoring it, so here I’m, because is now or never…”

Emily stares at the blonde and stays speechless since she has never seen so much determination in Alison’s eyes.

Emily nods. – “Ok… let’s get inside…”

Alison takes a deep breath and walks inside the house, ready to have the conversation which will define her fate…

 

**_*** Alison’s narrative ***_ **

**_Judge me all you want, but at the end, I choose to have memories without regrets… so, here I’m… this is it… what happens after this, it will be her choice…_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_I don't know why we all hang on to something… on to someone we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we don't even really have or maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way because without it, maybe we just wouldn't feel real… but, the truth is, sometimes it's not about having the strength to hold on, it's about having the courage to let go…_ **

Emily. – "Ali…?"

The blonde was the one who wanted to have this talk but, since the moment she put a foot inside the house, Alison stood completely speechless…

Emily sighs. – "Ali, if you have nothing to sa-…."

Alison was looking around, avoiding eye-contact and, the blonde cuts Emily off when she says…

Alison. – "I will never be good enough. No matter what I say or what I do… right?"

Emily frowns, looking confused. – "What?"

Alison was looking around and, turns in direction of Emily; both girls stare at each other into the eyes and Emily gulps hard while she sees something in Alison's eyes… determination…

Alison. – "I'm a human being, I make mistakes, I'm flawed and, I was a horrible teenager girl but…" (She looks Emily into the eyes and says with pain and anger) "But even if I'm a girl with a lot of imperfections, I'm done with constantly trying to prove you I'm worthy!"

Emily gulps. – "Worthy…? Ali… I … I don't understand what you're trying to say, I…"

Alison smirks with sadness. – "You don't understand? Fine… let me explain it then…" (She says with pain in her voice) "I didn't and I don't deserve to be treated the way you treated me today…"

Emily gulps hard, she looks down because she knows… she knows she's the one who did wrong…

Emily mumbles looking down. – "I… I'm sorry…"

They stay standing up, face to face in silence, Emily can feel the piercing gaze of Alison but, she's not able to look up, no, she can't look at Alison into the eyes, she's too ashamed… the brunette just keeps the look down and the blonde gets angry…

Alison says with a bitter voice. – "Sorry? Sorry for what? For fucking me?! Or for just dropping me away and leave there… alone…"

Emily has no words, she just keeps the look down and presses her lips together and, with her attitude, Alison's disappointment just increases…

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_Communication, it's the 1st thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say and, that's when the regret comes, that's when mistakes are done and that's when the regret that comes from letting something AMAZING pass you by… just in front of your eyes…_ **

**_Why she's sorry?_**  Emily asks herself that question… it's because she regrets feeling Alison's core erupting with her touch? No… she doesn't regret that, she will never regret making Alison hers but, she regrets how she did it, how she left the blonde after it and, she wants, she needs Alison to know that but… like always… she's just too late…

Emily says with a shy voice while she tries to reach Alison's hand. – "Ali, I…"

Alison steps back, making impossible for Emily to touch her…

Alison. – "I want someone who won't care about my past…"

Emily frowns, looking confused. – "What?"

Alison continues. – "I want someone who realizes that half of the decisions I make are usually ones I regret, and I have the right to overreact at any given moment…"

Alison stares at Emily into the eyes and realizes that Emily has no idea of what she means with all this but, even then, she keeps talking…

Alison. – "I want someone who knows how completely insane I'm and she wouldn't want me any other way…"

Emily. – "She?!"

Alison looks her into the eyes, she takes a deep breath and confess something…

Alison. – "Over the years, I've been in so many fake relationships and I always made excuses why… but I know the reason…"

Emily gulps and her eyes get bigger…

Alison. – "I… I… I… " (She takes a deep breath and mumbles) "I… I like girls…"

Emily. – "WHAT?!"

Alison says louder. – "I LIKE GIRLS! I'm into girls…"

The room stays in complete silence but Alison feels so liberated once she finally said those words… she has never felt so light and, the blonde smiles, she smiles because she's finally ready to embrace herself without any judgement attached and, while Alison is finally feeling happy with herself; Emily is speechless with such confession, it feels so unreal that Emily has a bad time with really believing it…

Emily. – "Are you saying the truth? Or are you just saying this because you want me under your finger?"

Alison looks at Emily and she chuckles with sadness…

Alison mumbles. – "Unbelievable…"

Emily. – "Ali…"

Alison looks at her into the eyes and says. – "I'm done playing games Emily, I'm being honest…"

Emily. – "How can you say that now, after so many years, after…"

Alison cuts her off, feeling angry and frustrated – "Is there really an age to get out of the closet?!" (She sighs and says with a calmer voice) "I think I've fallen in love, just twice in my life… and both of them, it's been a girl…"

Emily. – "Twice…?! Who…? When…? Wh-…?"

Alison. – "You…"

Emily. – "WHAT?!"

Alison nods. – "I loved you… you were always protecting me, always looking after me…" (She smiles while she remembers the old times) "You were my killer… my mermaid… the girl who saw the best of me and believed I could be better and I wanted, more than anything, to be the person you wanted me to be…"

Emily. – "Ali…"

Alison. – "You always felt like there was just one person in this world to love you and, then you find someone else and it seems crazy you were ever worried in the 1st place..."

Emily mumbles with fear. – "Ali… wh-what are you saying? You 'loved' me?! Past tense…?! Ali… I…"

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That's when the real works begins…_ **

Alison cuts Emily off. – "We deserve to be with somebody who will make us happy. Somebody who's not gonna complicate our lives. Somebody who won't hurt us…"

Emily mumbles with watery-eyes. – "Ali…"

Alison takes a deep breath and says with watery-eyes and a heart wrenching voice. – "I'll never be good enough for you… no matter what I say or what I do… you'll always see me like the pretentious girl who broke your heart for the 1st time, like the bitch who played with your feelings and got her way with it…"

Emily pleads. – "Ali…"

Alison yells with tears in her eyes. – "Am I lying? Tell me if I'm lying, Emily!"

Emily stays in silence, she would love to say she's ok with forgetting the past but, she can't, she hasn't been able to forget it and, Alison waits for an answer but she gets just silence. Emily stays in silence and, Alison gets her answer. The blonde grabs her purse and she starts walking away. Emily panics when she sees Alison ready to leave…

Emily pleads. – "Ali… wait!"

Alison snaps. – "Wait for what?!"

Emily stays speechless once again and, Alison just shakes the tears from her eyes…

Alison. – "Funny, isn't it? You call me evil, you call me liar. But you, all of you, you're worse than me…"

Emily. – "What?"

Alison says with pain in her voice. – "You and the girls, you teach me time and time again that nothing I do ever is good enough…" (She says with sadness and pain) "Every good thing that I'm doing now, it will never be good enough for you and you know what?! I don't care!"

Emily's lips quivers, she finally realizes how she and the girls have been always judging Alison, accusing her for all the bad and never really caring how those judgement could make her feel…

Alison. – "I know how much I value and if you can't see it, then, that's your loss… no mine…"

The blonde opens the front door and before leaving, she gives Emily one last chance to stop her…

Alison. – "Emily… I'm busy holding myself together with tape and glue…" (She says with tears) "I loved you so much that it hurt… it hurts when you just used me as you wish and leaft me alone…"

Emily looks down

Alison. – "I'm so broken that one part of me still believes I deserved to be treated the way you treated me today and, that's wrong, that stop now!"

Emily mumbles. – "Ali…"

Alison looks at her into the eyes and says. – "If you care about me, if you care at least a little bit, you'll let me go…"

Emily gulps with watery-eyes. – "Ali…"

Alison. – "Stop messing with me and just walk away… you've done it before, it shouldn't be so hard to do it again…"

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_What do you do after you've given all that you've and you've nothing left to give…? After you've tried and you've tried, and you've cried and you cried, and that day finally comes when you realize that this is not how you want to live your life… what do you do? What do you do when you see the girl of your dreams walking away? What do you do….?_ **

The door closes and Emily zones out. She stays alone in the dark for a long, long time; processing all the information, it took her a long moment, maybe too long; but between all the chaos, between all the messy… one thing keeps running inside Emily's mind…

Emily mumbles. – "She loved me…" (She repeats it lauder) "SHE LOVED ME!" (She smiles and says while she runs towards the door) "She loved me!"

The brunette takes her car keys and leaves the house in a rush…

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_You play dumb even when your whole body is aching to move; you shut your mouth, keeping your truth to yourself because it's not always easy to speak your mind, sometimes you need to be forced to do it. And when you're forced to do it, when you're forced to move and say what you need to say… you analyze everything too much than when the times comes… it's just too late… too late…_ **

Emily parks outside Alison's house, it got her a long time to get there because she passed by a shop; the brunette smiles while she grabs the flowers and the teddy bear she brought; she brought the flowers for Alison and the teddy bear, she bought it, thinking on their baby… yes, their baby, because Emily wanted to do this together… like a family…

Emily rehearse her speech in her car. – "I can live without you, but I don't want to. I don't ever want to… and I hope neither do you…" (She smiles) "Yes, this will work…"

The brunette gets out of her car and she approaches to the house; laughs and music come out of the house and curious to see what was happening inside the house, Emily peeks through the window and sees…

_(In Alison's living room)_

Alison mumbles. – "I'm not in the mood, Sam…"

Samara puts a records and says while she swings her hips with the tempo of the music. – "I know but, you can't go to bed with a sad face…"

Alison rolls her eyes but, Samara keeps dancing…

Samara waves her hands to Alison and says. – "Come on, Ali! You've to dance it out!" (She stands up in front of Alison and says while she jumps and dance in front of Alison) "Come on! Get up!"

Alison frowns her eye-brown. – "Really?!"

Samara nods. – "Yeah! It's this or crying, so… you choose…"

Alison groans with frustration and rolls her eyes while she gets out of the sofa…

Samara applauses and jumps around Alison. – "Whoa! Yeah! Look at it! Miss. D is on the zone!"

Alison chuckles and blushes while she slowly starts dancing. – "Shut up…"

Samara teases. – "You call that dancing?"

Alison. – "I'm too tense to dance!"

Samara smirks. – "That's why we're dancing!"

It was a nice gesture and Samara didn't stop jumping and motivating Alison to dance till the blonde English teacher was also, jumping, dancing and laughing, just like her. Both girls keep dancing and Emily sees them through the window…

Emily sees the two blondes dancing, laughing, and jumping. The brunette sees how happy Alison looks. The brunette looks at Alison smiling and looks at her roses and the teddy bear which she's holding on her hands…

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up for ourselves… maybe we need to let go and accept ourselves before moving on… maybe we need starting to think that love might mean wanting the other person to be happy even if that means they can't stay with you…_ **

Emily puts the flowers and the teddy bear against the front door, she walks away and before getting inside her car, she looks at the house one more time…

Emily takes a deep breath and mumbles. - "I'm sorry, it couldn't be me…"

The brunette gets inside her car and drives away…

Memories are funny things... The good ones fill our lives with meaning of context of clarity and other memories can deceive the ones that make you believe that you know the truth, those are the dangerous ones. When you look back on the decisions you have made in your life the one thing you don't want to feel is regret. But sadly, this moment, will be one of the biggest regrets for Emily Fields… because you should never walk away from love…

Go big or go home, looks like this brunette chose home… let's see how that will work for her…


	6. Chapter 6

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_Never give up on something you really want. It's difficult to wait but more difficult to regret…_ **

There have been some weeks since their talk and now all the chaos seems in the past since the girls found out who killed Charlotte. It was a shocking surprise for everyone when they found out Mona was the killer but, the girls couldn't be happier because the nightmare was over. Everyone looked happy, except for Emily. The brunette is trying her best on being supportive and let Alison be happy with another girl but, it's hard… it's so damn hard to see her smile, to see her blush, to see her happy with someone else…

Toby pats Emily's back. – "Em…? Are you okay?"

Emily jumps, she was spacing out in the Brew and when Toby touched her back, he really got her off guard. Emily turns around and says her hellos to her dear friend. Toby sits with her while he waits for his coffee…

Toby. – "You look sad, is it because Paige left?"

Emily sighs. – "I'm sad for how things ended but…"

Toby. – "But…?"

Emily was going to say something but she got interrupted when Sabrina bring Toby's coffee and Emily's sandwich. At the same time, a pair of blondes were happily entering into the place…

Alison laughs. – "OMG! That was so funny!"

Samara smiles. – "I told you it was a great comedy…"

Alison's laugh fills the room and Toby notices something in Emily's eyes… regret…

Toby puts his hand over Emily's hand and says. – "Em…"

Emily looks at Toby and when she notices his concerned gaze; the brunette realizes that a tear was rolling over her cheek…

Emily chuckles with sadness while she tries to clear the tears. – "Sorry, I… I got something in my eye…"

Toby sighs heavy, he doesn't buy Emily's lame excuse but he can tell Emily doesn't want to talk about it and he will no force her to talk either.

Sabrina says to the new customers. – "Hello, ladies, what I can get you?"

Samara smiles. – "Mmm… I want a salad and an ice tea, please…"

Alison. – "I… I want a sandwich…"

Sabrina. – "Oh sorry Alison, I already sold the last one I had…"

Alison pouts, she was really craving for a sandwich and, as soon as she keeps pouting for a sandwich, Emily sloppily stands up and rushes towards the blonde, with her sandwich on her hands.

Emily. – "Ali… Ali… Ali, here! Take mine!"

The brunette offers her sandwich with a goofy smile, she waves the sandwich in front of Alison, nictitating the blonde to take it.

Alison says while she grabs the sandwich. – "Thank you…"

Emily smiles with proud, she feels so happy just by feeding the pregnant blonde but, that smiles vanishes from her face when Alison rushes towards the bathroom…

Emily asks. – "What is wrong?"

Samara looks at the sandwich and sighs while she sees what is inside. – "Damn it! It has cheese…"

Emily. – "What is wrong with cheese?"

Samara. – "It's the pregnancy, this week she can't tolerate cheese, even the smell of it, makes her throw up…"

Emily mumbles. – "I… I… I didn't know…"

Samara pats Emily's arm and says. – "Don't worry, it's hard to keep up with her, each week, her mood for food changes, this week is cheese, last week was tomatoes…" (She chuckles) "Who knows, maybe next week will be chocolates…" (Chuckles) "I'm kidding, she loves chocolates…"

Samara keeps talking about Alison's taste and Emily frowns, frustrated because she didn't know, she doesn't know anything about what Samara was talking and once again, she feels angry with herself, because she should be the one knowing all of that… no Samara…

Samara. – "I'll go check on her… see if she's all right…"

Emily nods and sighs with sadness because she should be the one, checking on Alison…

Toby pats Emily's back and says. – "Are you okay…?"

Emily mumbles. – "No…"

Toby wanted to say something else, but Emily was already leaving the Brew before he could say something at all…

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationship we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make…_ **

_(In the Brew, some weeks later…)_

Hanna. – "So, how Alison's pregnancy is going?"

All the girls looks at one particular brunette and the brunette rolls her eyes…

Aria. – "Well…? Are you not telling us…?"

Emily sighs and buries her face on her coffee, she drinks her coffee slowly, hoping the girls will choose another topic to talk but, they just wait in silence till Emily says…

Emily mumbles. – "Why you're looking at me like that?"

Spencer. – "Why you're so quiet about it? I mean, some days ago, all you could speak about was 'babies' and now…"

Hanna. – "And now you're quieter than a mute…"

Spencer looks at Hanna and raises an eyebrow. – "Really? A 'mute'?"

Hanna shrugs. – "What? They don't talk…"

The girls chuckles with Hanna's comment and Emily sighs with sadness. Aria pats Emily's knee and says…

Aria. – "What is wrong, Em?"

Emily. – "What is wrong? I'm missing everything!"

The girls. – "What do you mean?"

Emily. – "The babies kicked the other day…"

The girls. – "What?!"

Spencer. – "Babies?!"

Hanna. – "Like in plural?!"

Emily nods. – "Oh yeah… twins…"

Aria. – "Aww!" (Aria sees Emily's face and she says) "You don't look happy… are you not happy with the news?!"

Emily. – "I'm thrilled with the news!"

Hanna. – "Looking at your face, no you're not…"

Emily rolls her eyes and groans angry.

Spencer. – "What is wrong, Em? Talk with us…"

Emily sighs sad. – "I wasn't there…?"

Aria. – "What do you mean?"

Emily. – "When she went to the doctor and found out about the twins; I was doing swim practice with the team…"

Aria. – "Ali went alone to the doctor? Why she didn't ask us to come or…?"

Emily cuts her off and says with a bitter voice. – "She didn't go alone, Samara went with her…"

The girls. – "Oh…"

Emily. – "Samara is always with her… when Ali wants ice cream at 3am, Samara is there to get it for her… when Ali felt the 1st kicks of the babies last night, Samara was there to feel it too…" (She says frustrated) "She's always there when it should be ME! I'm the MOM!"

Hanna. – "Relax, Em, it's no big deal…"

Emily snaps. – "It's not big deal?! It's a huge deal, HANNA! Samara knows everything: what she can eat, what she's craving for…" (Sighs) "She knows all these stuffs and I don't know any of it… and I'm the mom…"

The girls rubs Emily's back…

Emily mumbles with sadness. – "I wish I could be more involve, you know…"

Spencer. – "The thing is, Emily; because Samara is living with Ali, she's there for a lot of stuffs…"

Emily mumbles with sadness. – "I know that…"

The brunette is moping and Hanna doesn't like to see her BFF like that… an idea pops up in Hanna's mind and, she says…

Hanna. – "Maybe you should live together…"

The girls. – "What?!"

Spencer looks at Hanna's cup of coffee and says. – "Did you put liquor inside it, again?"

Hanna rolls her eyes. – "I'm not drunk!" (She waves her hands and says) "Look, it just seems that if Ali's gonna have a roomie, it might as well be the mother of the kids…"

Aria and Spencer don't take seriously Hanna's idea but someone else does it…

Spencer says while she sees Emily grabbing her jacket. – "Em…? Where are you going?"

Emily. – "I need to pack…"

Aria. – "You're not taking Hanna's idea, seriously, right?"

Emily doesn't reply, she just puts money on the table to pay her coffee and gets ready to leave. She just stops moving when Spencer grabs her from the arm…

Emily. – "Spence, wh-…?"

Spencer cuts her off. – "I don't think Ali wants you to move into her house and disrupt her life, just like that…"

Emily. – "I would love to be around for her and the twins, I'm done with missing everything…"

Aria pleads. – "Emily, please, this is a crazy idea…"

Emily cuts her off. – "No, it's not!" (She thumbs up towards Hanna and says to the blonde) "Hann! You're brilliant! This is a great idea!"

The brunette leaves in a rush and the other brunettes stay stunned with what just happened…

Hanna smirks with proud. – "Well, look at that… I'm brilliant…"

Aria & Spencer glare at Hanna…

Hanna shrugs. – "What?"

Spencer grabs her keys and says. – "I'll go and talk with Ali before this gets all messy…"

Aria nods. – "Ok, Hanna and me, we will try to persuade Emily to drop this crazy idea…"

Hanna. – "Why?"

Aria and Spencer. – "Why?! This is crazy, Hanna!"

Hanna. – "What is crazy is that we all know that those two are meant to be together and, we're doing nothing to help them…"

The brunettes don't reply Hanna's argument, they just sigh heavy and look at each other…

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_I believe in "meant to be" Why not believe it, really? Who doesn't want happy endings in their life? So, I believe… I believe in happy endings and fairy tales, I believe in soulmates and I believe it's just up to us to make it happen. To show up and be meant for each other. But you've to fight for it, you've to try or else, you will never know if you're meant to be or not…_ **

Emily parks in front of Alison's house; it's late, she wishes she could come earlier but, Aria and Hanna passing by her house to make her change her mind, it took almost all her afternoon. Even after a lot of talking, she didn't change her mind and she's there with determination.

Emily takes a deep breath and says. – "Here I go…"

With a box in her hands and a bag on her back, the brunette stands in front of the door; she knocks and one blonde opens the door… sadly, no the blonde Emily was expecting to see…

Samara sighs heavy. – "Hi Emily…"

Emily sighs heavy. – "Hi Samara…"

The blonde looks at Emily, she looks at the boxes and the bag and she doesn't look thrilled with the view…

Samara. – "So Spencer was right… you're planning on moving in…"

Emily sighs heavy, she knew this conversation was going to happen but she wanted to do it with Alison… alone…

Emily. – "I'm not having this conversation with you… let me talk with Ali… I…"

Samara. – "You… you don't love her, maybe she was just good for your ego, or maybe she made you feel better about yourself but you don't love her…"

Emily says angry. – "You don't know what you're talking about! I loved her…" (She says louder) "I LOVE HER! No one, not even YOU will love her as much as I do!"

Samara shuts angry. – "You don't destroy people you love and, you've no idea of much damage you've caused her…"

Both girls stays face to face, looking at each other with lethal gazes…  _if looks could kill…_

Emily steps forwards and says. – "I'm moving in…"

Samara gets in her way and says. – "It's too late for you… go home, Emily…"

Emily hesitates on leaving but, when Alison pops up behind Samara, Emily's bravery gets on…

Emily says with a smile while she stares at Alison. – "I'm home…"


	7. Chapter 7

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_When we follow our hearts, when we choose not to settle. It's funny, isn't? A weight lifts, the sun shines a little brighter. And for a brief moment at least, we find a little of hope... Hope for a better tomorrow, hope to reach our happiness, hope... Just hope to be with the one we love..._ **

Standing below the door frame with a box between her hands, Emily is entranced on the blue eyes of the girl who is behind Samara. The blonde counselor was going to say something, but she's stopped when Alison puts her hand over her shoulder. Samara turns her head in direction of the English teacher and the blonde says...

Alison. - "Please let me handle this..."

Samara doesn't protest, for her, love is trust so, she just nods and gets inside the house, leaving them alone...

Emily smiles. - "Ali, I..."

The brunette was so eager, her face was glowing with hope till Alison pushed them outside. They stay in the porch and when Alison closes the door behind her, Emily felt like her only chance to make it right was also closing in front of her eyes...

Emily gulps. - "Ali...?"

Taking a defensive posture, the blonde crosses her arms above her chest and, gazes at the brunette with an unfriendly look...

Emily says with a shaking voice. - "Ali, I..."

Alison says angry with a cold voice. - "You're no moving into my house, Emily..."

Emily quivers her bottom lip, tears form in her eyes and, she looks down, trying to hide her broken look, from the blonde. Alison can't see Emily's tears but, she hears the sobs and Alison's heart quivers...

Alison sighs. - "Why we keep hurting each other?"

The blonde didn't want to hurt Emily but, she's reluctant to let Emily in and put at risk the spark of happiness she has with Samara. This is the first time Alison feels real happiness in a long, very long time and, she doesn't want to ruin it like always so, the only thing Alison offers, it's a tissue and without looking at her into the eyes, Emily takes it and clear her tears.

Alison says while she sits in the stairs of her porch. -"I'm sorry if my words hurt you, I never meant to make you cry..."

Emily smiles a little with Alison's words. Knowing that Alison cares about her feelings, it brings her again a little of hope. With a little of hesitation, Emily sits beside her and smiles when Alison doesn't push her away. They stay in silence for brief moment, Alison settles her gaze faraway while Emily fix her look on Alison... Just Alison...

By the corner of her eyes, Alison notices how Emily has eyes just for her and the blonde sighs hard while she runs a hand through her hair...

Alison sighs.- "Please Emily, go home..."

Emily pouts. - "No..."

Why? Why now? Why...? Alison asks herself, she doesn't understand why Emily is trying to move in and the brunette notices the confusion in Alison's eyes so, she says...

Emily.- "I want the chance to be there..."

Alison.-"What do you mean? "

Emily slowly puts her hand over Alison's belly and says. - "I wasn't there when they kicked for the first time... I'm not there when you need something..."

Alison. - "I'm not gonna call you at 2am just because I'm craving for something... I don't want to bother you..."

Emily pouts. - "But I want you to bother me!"

Alison. - "What?! Why?!"

Emily. - "Why?! Do I really need a reason to take care of the mother of my children..."

Alison mumbles with a sad tone. - "I'm not gonna be a mom, Emily..."

Both girls take a deep breath and, hear the sadness coming from their bodies when the air gets out of their lungs...

Emily mumbles. - "I... I… I want to be with you…"

Alison looks at her, their eyes meet and, a silence stays between them till…

Alison. – "Why you're doing this out of the blue, Emily…?"

Emily. – "Ali… I…"

The brunette tries to grab Alison's hand but, the blonde stands up, putting distance between them…

Emily stares at the blonde and says. – "Ali?"

Alison looks at the sky, she looks at the stars and, takes a deep breath to takes in the fresh air of the night. Filling her lungs with air, Alison turns again towards the brunette who's sitting in the stairs of her porch and the English teacher says…

Alison. – "Why? Why you want to be with me?"

Emily. – "You're pregnant with my kids…"

Alison chuckles with sadness. – "So, that's why…"

Emily gulps. – "Ali, I…"

Alison cuts her off. – "You know Emily, these past 5 years, after, after all of you left for college… you never called, you never came, you never looked for me neither check how I was doing…"

Emily presses her lips together because the blonde was saying the truth…

Alison. – "One call, one text, one letter… nothing…" (Sad sigh) "I know you got through hard times these past years but you're not the only one… I got through the hardest of times on my own, alone… completely alone…"

Emily gulps hard

Alison. – "Always being seen like the bad guy, like the evil itself. Nothing can shield you from the loneliness, the gossip, the looks, the rumors… how many times people pointed me out like the responsible of their pain? How many times, people threw me eggs to my head? How many times, people broke my windows and try to intimidate me for what I did in high-school? How many nights I spent on my bed alone… praying for help to please stop my crying, my sorrow…"

Emily gulps hard, her eyes fill with tears again, she had no idea of how lonely Alison had been all these years, how badly people had treated her….

Alison. – "My life just got turned on its head… from being the bully, I became the prey…"

Emily mumbles. – "Ali, I… I'm sorry, I didn't know, I…"

Alison. – "Off course you didn't know, how could you? You never called and, I was too scare to call you…"

Emily. – "Why? Why you were scared to call me?!"

Alison says with sadness. – "They fail to explain how complex love is… like why I mostly missed you every day and even then, each time I tried to call you, I just froze… I froze because why if you didn't take my call? What if you didn't care at all?" (Sad chuckle) "My doubts, my ego… I didn't want to admit I needed someone and then… I just let time fly… and, now, here we're…"

Emily gulps hard, she has never seen Alison explaining her vulnerability like now and, she wants to hug the blonde, tell her she cares, she will always care but… once again, like Alison did in the past… she freezes, she freezes and do nothing….

Alison feels tears shaping in her eyes, so she looks at the stars and says. – "They are beautiful tonight, don't they?"

Emily. – "Huh?" (She looks up at the sky and says) "Oh… yeah…"

Once again, silence stays between them and, the night gets colder; Alison rubs her arms, Emily notices it, she tries to give her jacket but Alison doesn't accept it…

Emily. – "Ali, please…"

They stand face to face, locking their eyes in each other when the blonde says…

Alison. – "I'm getting inside and you're going home…"

Emily wants to protest but before she could say something, a car appears; the brunette recognizes the car…

Emily. – "You called my mom?!"

Alison passes beside Emily and says while she walks towards her home. – "Go home, Emily…"

The brunette looks at her mother, the old woman doesn't look happy, she knows she has a lot to explain but before that, she needs to know something…

Emily turns towards the blonde and says very loud. – "Why?! Why her and not me?!"

Alison stops her track, she doesn't move for a moment and then, she turns and faces Emily…

Alison. – "Why I love Samara?"

Emily nods with watery-eyes

Alison. – "Because she has given me something no one else has given to me: self-esteem, she has shown me, I'm worthy to be loved, to be happy, to be trusted… she believes in me…"

Emily mumbles. – "I… I believed in you…"

Alison smiles with sadness. – "Yes, you did… but not anymore… right?"

 ** _Do I believe in her? Will I never doubt? Can I really trust her?_**  Emily gulps hard, she tries to tell her she loves her no matter what, that she will always trust her and never hurt her ever again, but Emily opens her mouth and nothing comes out, not a single word and with a disappointed look, Alison sadly enters inside her home and says while she closes the door…

Alison. – "Good night… Emily…"

The door closes and, Emily just sighs hard looking at the door closed. By the corner of her eyes, she sees her mom waiting in the car and, she takes a deep breath before grabbing her things and, getting in the car with her mom…

Emily mumbles. – "Did Ali call you?"

Pam nods

Emily. – "I see… Are you mad?"

Pam. – "Am I mad that I'm going to be a grandmother and you didn't tell me?"

Emily plays with her fingers, she has no excuses, she was planning to tell her, but she wasn't sure how or when…

Pam. – "I thought we agreed: not more lies, Emily… no after you dropped college and hid it from me…"

Emily sighs hard. – "I know… I know…"

Pam sighs hard again, she wants to ask so many questions but looking at Emily, right now. She knows that Emily is not up for a talk… no right now…

Pam turns on the engine and says. – "Let's go home…"

Emily puts her seat belt and mumbles with sadness. – "Yeah… let's go home…"

The next day, Emily wakes up with tears in her eyes; she sadly chuckles, tasting the salty water coming from her eyes…

Emily sadly chuckles. – "Could I be more pathetic…?"

Pam. – "It's not pathetic to cry for love…"

Emily wildly opens her eyes and sits in bed; she uses her hands to clear her tears while the woman who was standing in the frame door of her room approaches with a cup of coffee…

Emily takes the coffee and mumbles. – "Thank you…"

Pam nods and sits in the bed beside Emily; she softly pats Emily's leg and says…

Pam. – "So tell me… how is that I'm going to become a grandmother…?"

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_How do you know is true what you feel? How do you know you're taking the right decision? Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love for the rest of your life? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Out of the blue; you doubt, you decide, and then, you breathe out & in what comes after that…_ **

Alison was alone on her house, waiting for Samara to come back with food; she happily opens the door when she hears a knock…

Alison says while opening the door. – "Did you forget your keys…?"

The door opens, and Alison's eyes gets bigger while she stares at the person who's standing in front of her…

Alison. – "Ms. Fields…?"

Pam. – "Please, call me Pam… can I call you Ali?"

Alison nods. – "Off course Ms. Fiel-… I mean Pam…"

Pam chuckles. – "Ali, can I come in?"

Alison nods and the old woman smiles when the blonde let her in. They get inside the living room, Alison asks her if she wants to drink something, Pam replies the 1st thing it comes to her mind and, Alison sits at her side on the sofa, when she brings an ice tea…

Pam. – "Thank you…"

Alison. – "You're welcome…"

Pam looks at Alison's belly and smiles…

Pam points out towards the belly and asks. – "Can I?"

Alison is not sure of what she means, but she nods anyway and Pam glows with happiness. Pam softly puts her hands over Alison's belly and her smile gets bigger...

Pam asks. – "How many months…?"

Alison. – "Next week, it will be 4 months…"

Pam. – "Wow… 4 months…"

Pam talks to the belly and the twins replies with a kick…

Pam chuckles. – "OMG! They're kicking!"

Alison looks at her belly and says. – "Yeah… I guess they like you already…"

Both smile and, Pam looks at Alison with tenderness while she says…

Pam. – "Thank you…"

Alison raises an eye-brow. – "For what?"

Pam. – "Emily told me everything…"

Alison gulps. – "Everything?"

Pam nods and looks at Alison's belly while she says. – "I'm sure this is not how you pictured your 1st pregnancy…"

Alison rubs her belly and replies. – "To be honest, I never thought about kids…"

Pam. – "Really?"

Alison sighs with sadness. – "Children are pure, good and me… I'm dark, I'm evil, I…" (She recalls Samara's words about how amazing human being she's and says) "I'm not dark and I'm no evil, but in the past, I thought I was, so…"

Pam holds Alison's hands and puts them in her lap while she says with tenderness…

Pam. – "I'm happy you don't look down of yourself anymore..."

Alison smiles. – "Me too…"

They keep talking, mostly about the pregnancy and Pam sighs sad each time that Alison's face glows when the blonde mentions the name of Samara…

Alison asks. – "Something wrong?"

Pam takes a sip of the ice tea, while she hesitates on the real reason of her visit…

Alison asks again. – "Pam, what is wrong?"

Pam. – "Can I ask you something?"

Alison nods and they look at each other into the eyes…

Pam asks. – "Did you really stop loving my Emily?"

The blonde wasn't expecting this but, Pam was brave enough to come into her house and ask, so Alison, thought that the last thing she should do, it was to answer with honesty…

Alison. – "I'm always gonna love Emily but…"

Pam. – "But…?"

Alison. – "We've hurt each other so many times, we have broken our hearts so many times… our story is messy, painful… we've scars in all sorts of unexpected places. The wounds are long gone but the scars are there… the pain still lingers and I… I just wanna be happy… I deserve to be happy…"

Pam mumbles. – "My Emy can make you happy…"

Alison sighs. – "Pam… please don't…"

Pam. – "Life is short, we should live it. Love is rare, we should grab it. Anger is bad, we should dump it. Fear is awful, but we should face it. Memories are sweet, so, we should cherish it…" (She holds Alison's hand and puts it above her heart) "Ali… my Emy is not perfect, like you said, she has scars, fears, doubts but even with all her defects, she's an amazing human being so, please, give her another chance…"

Alison gulps hard, she doesn't know what to say and when someone comes back home, she stays speechless…

Samara says while she gets in with bag of foods. – "Hey Ali, sorry it took me so long, I had to drive to the other town since here I couldn't find the chocolates you asked for…" (She notices the guest and says) "Oh, Ms. Fields… hi…"

Pam. – "Hello Samara…"

The room stays in silence and Pam sees it as her clue to leave…

Pam stands up and says. – "I should leave…"

Samara. – "You're welcome to stay and get dinner with us if you want…"

Pam smiles. – "You're really kind, but no… I should go home…" (She turns towards Alison and softly kisses Alison's front-head while she says) "No matter what happens, no matter what you decide to do, you'll always have a special place in my heart till the end of times…"

Alison smiles with such tender kiss…

Pam starts walking towards the door and says to the blonde counselor. – "Do you mind walk me to my car?"

Samara puts the bags of food down and walked Pam outside. Samara closes the front door and they walk in silence till they stand in front of Pam's car…

Samara asks. – "Did you come to see how Ali's pregnancy is going?"

Pam. – "Not exactly…" (She notices how Samara raises an eyebrow and she says with honesty) "I came here to ask Ali one thing; I asked Ali to pick my daughter over you…"

They stay face to face, Pam was expecting an insult, rage, anger from the blonde counselor but the only she gets, it's to see how wonderful person she's…

Samara nods. – "I see…"

Pam raises an eyebrow. – "You're not angry? You're not asking me to stay away?"

Samara. – "Why I would be angry? Why I would forbid you to stay close of Ali when she sees you like the mother she always wanted to have?" (She shakes her head) "No, I'm not mad, I've no right to be mad…"

Pam. – "And what if I tell you, I'll do everything in my power to get Ali back to my Emy…?"

Samara smiles. – "You're free to do whatever you want Ms. Fields… I'll not get mad…"

Pam. – "Are you so sure about yourself? Do you really think you're better than my Emy?!"

Samara. – "I'm not better than anyone… I'm not perfect either…" (She looks at the house and smiles thinking on Alison) "I just love her…" (She chuckles) "Whenever anyone says something really funny and I laugh, I always look around to see if she thinks it's funny too…" (She smiles) "Even when she's not there, I still look around…" (She looks at Pam into the eyes and says with a big smile) "I love her, I want nothing else than her happiness and, if she chooses Emily, if she chooses Emily like her happiness then…" (Deep breath) "Then I'll never be an obstacle for her happiness… she just has to say the word…"

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_It can be scary to find out you love someone. Love is weakest when there is more doubt than trust but Love is strongest when we learn to trust despite the doubts… the problem is, how do we get there? How can we love and trust without doubts?_ **

Emily was coming back home after a long, very long run in the forest. She was planning to rush upstairs and take a shower but, she changes her destination when she sees her mother in the living room, with a lot of boxes beside her…

Emily looks at the boxes and asks. – "What is this?" (She opens one box and smiles when she grabs a mobile) "OMG! This is mine!"

Pam chuckles. – "You remember?"

Emily nods with a smile

Pam. – "Funny, isn't it, the way memory works? The things you can't quite remember, and the things you can never forget…"

Pam pats the empty sit beside her and says. – "Come here, Emy…"

Emily. – "Mom, I'm very sweaty; let me…"

Pam insists. – "It will be just a second…"

Emily decides to don't protest anymore and sits beside her mom; Emily can't stop smiling while she sees all her toys and everything that Pam kept…

Pam. – "I want to share something with you and I need you to put attention…"

Emily nods. – "OK…"

Pam. – "Before marrying your Dad, we got into a big fight and at that moment I was very decided to cancel the weeding…"

Emily. – "Really?! But you didn't…"

Pam. – "No… I didn't, and do you know why? Because you love someone despite their defects or because all their qualities..."

Emily. – "What do you mean?"

Pam. – "Your Dad was selfish, always taking decision without asking me or considering my opinion; he was extremely jealous when we were younger, he always wanted to play the 'hero' even if he knew how scared I was… yes, your father was full of defects and yet… I marry him and loved him with all my heart…"

Emily. – "Why you're telling me this?"

Pam holds Emily's hand and says. – "Emily, it's very easy 'to love because' but 'to love despite'… that's just once in a lifetime… so I want to know, do you love Alison because she's pregnant with your kids or you love her despite all the bad that has happened between you two?"

Emily opens her mouth and says while she tries to process the question. – "I… I really don't know…"

Pam. – "I see… mmm… you can go and take your shower…"

Emily nods and looking at the hour, Pam decides to make dinner; the old woman stands up and says while she puts a kiss on Emily's head…

Pam. – "Please, don't chase Alison anymore, unless you're sure you love her despite all her defects…"

Looking at the boxes, Emily finds too the old purple bracelet with her name, the one that Alison gave her.

Emily looks at the bracelet and mumbles. – "Do I love her because or despite…?"

The brunette is left alone, with a mobile on one hand and a big question in the other… what will be the answer to that question? Just time will tell…


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys so I know that I said this was the last chapter of this mini EMISON story, but I started doing it and it’s going too long, so this isn’t the end yet ^^. Now, in this chapter there will be some time jumps. The 1st scene is in the near future, you will see it again at the ending of this story. Hope you like it and thank you if you’ve a time to leave a review 

 

  ** _*** Narrative ***_**

**_It can be scary to find out you’ve been wrong about something. But we can’t be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they’ll never be the same, for better or for worse._ **

 

In the airport, she was reading a magazine while she was waiting to be called. Time flew fast and the boarding for her flight started. She has never liked to wait in the line, so she waits till the last minute to get close to the gate…

Ready to board, she tries to step forward, but she freezes in front of the gate when someone yells “ ** _I love you…”._** With a shocking face, she turns around to face the sweaty girl, who is trying to catch her breath after running all over the airport. Face to face, they stare at each other, wondering what will happen next…

 

**_We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we’re willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we’ll find ourselves exactly where we need to be, what we need to say… before it’s too late…_ **

 

**_Some months earlier…_ **

On the Fields house, there she was, Emily, assembling a table on the room which was destined to be the nursery of her twins…

Emily. - “Thanks for the help, Spencer… “

Spencer. - “Thanks for the distraction… “

They smile at each other and keep putting the table together, Spencer gazes towards the brunette…

Emily frowns. - “Something wrong?”

Spencer shakes her head when she replies. - “No… I was just wondering… “

Emily. - “Wondering what?”

Spencer looks down, no sure if she should ask or not but she is interested to know…

Spencer. - “I was wondering: have you figured out how you & Ali will do this…?”

Emily. - “What do you mean?”

Spencer. - “Come on, Em, we’re talking about the babies… “

The brunette takes a deep breath and keeps tightening the fastening bolts. Spencer narrows her eyes on her and Emily would love to avoid this talk but, knowing Spencer, there's no way that will happen…

Emily sighs. - “What do you want to know?”

Spencer. - “Are you going to co-parent?”

Emily shakes her head. - “No…”

Spencer. - “Why not?!”

Emily. - “She doesn't want to be involved and I… I have no right to ask her more than what she's already doing…”

Spencer. - “So, what? She's going to give birth and, act like nothing happened?”

Emily stands up and says while she settles the table next to the crib. - “Spencer, please just drop it… “

Spencer stands up to follow her…

Emily. - “I just asked her to give birth… She doesn't need to do anything else…”

Spencer asks. - “Is that what she wants?”

Emily. – “When she decided to go with the pregnancy, that’s what she said…”

Spencer. – “But, that was then and now maybe she changed her mind…”

Emily. – “I don’t think so…”

Spencer. – “Have you asked? Em, a lot has happened since then, maybe…”

Emily hardly drops her hands over the table they just put together; sighing deeply ‘cause she didn’t want to have this conversation, closing her eyes ‘cause she doesn’t want to think about it and gripping harder and harder on the table ‘cause she feels frustrated, so frustrated…

Emily pleads. - “Please Spence, just drop it… “

Spencer. - “NO! Emily, you want… “

Emily violently turns to face her and snaps…

Emily cuts her off. - “I want her to be happy! She deserves to be happy…” (Sad bitter voice) “And she's happy… with Samara… “

Spencer. - “And you? Are you happy?”

Emily tries to smile while she replies. - “I will be a mom… I am as happy as I can get…”

Spencer just sighs, Emily doesn't look completely happy but insisting on the subject will bring them nowhere; Emily is stubborn enough to don’t change her mind and, thinking she has no other choice, she decides to go with Alison…

Spencer was clever enough to reach the blonde when she was alone at home…

Alison. - “Spencer? What brings you here?”

Spencer. - “I would like to have a word with you… “

Alison. – “Is this about the ‘lost Rosewood’ that Mary left us? Because if it’s, then there’s no need to talk; you can keep them, I don’t want anything from her…”

Spencer. – “What? You…”

Alison cuts her off. – “No… I don’t want it, so…” (She slowly starts closing her door) “You can go now…”

Standing in the porch of the blonde, the brunette notices a hostile welcome for her but she refuses to leave just like that; before Alison could close the door, Spencer slips inside…

Alison frowns. – “What the h-…?!”

Spencer says while she passes beside her. - “God! You are huge…”

The blonde looks at her big belly and, replies…

Alison huffs. - “Off course I’m huge, I’m carring two little humans!”

Spencer mumbles. - “And you’re grumpy too…”

Alison huffs and, narrows her eyes; deciding she’s not in the mood to fight, she just starts walking to the living room, the other girl follows her…

Spencer. – “You’re walking funny…”

Alison sighs. – “It’s hard to walk, my back hurts all the time…”

Spencer. – “Oh… I see…”

Alison slowly sits comfortable on her sofa and says. – “What do you want, Spencer?”

Spencer. – “That’s exactly what I wanted to ask you: what do you want…?”

Alison frowns. – “What? I don’t follow…”

Spencer sits in the table, in front of Alison and continues interrogating Alison but if her conversation with Emily led nowhere, this one got worse… going completely south… especially when Spencer notices something…

Spencer. – “What is this…?” (She grabs the documents) “Are these flight tickets to South Africa?!”

Alison nods. – “Jason is building schools for kids there, after I give birth, Sam & me, we’re planning to go and visit him… maybe even give him a hand since they need some teachers…”

Spencer. – “These are tickets for just one go…”

Alison rolls her eyes…

Spencer narrows her eyes on her and says. – “Are you no coming back…?”

Alison doesn’t reply, she just avoids eye-contact…

Spencer says very loud. – “ALISON!”

Alison’s swing moods have been worse and worse with the progress of the pregnancy, these days the blonde is hypersensitive, and Spencer couldn’t have chosen a worse day to yell at the blonde…

Alison. – “Don’t yell at me!”

Spencer. – “You can’t leave!”

Alison. – “I can do whatever I want!”

Spencer says angry. – “You’re so selfish! Always thinking just in you, without caring on the rest of us…”

Alison yells angry. – “GET OUT! NOW!”

Spencer yells too. – “NO! Ali, you…”

Alison cuts her off. – “You’ve no business in this, so step back and walk away… just leave me alone…” (she sarcastically says with a bitter voice) “You’ve done it before, it shouldn’t be so hard to do it again… stop pretend you care about me…”

Spencer. – “How dare you to say I don’t care?! That we don’t care?! We’ve always done what you want…”

Alison snaps. – “And once again with the same story! Me, the manipulative girl and all of you, the innocent victims…”

Spencer. – “Did you just swallow a full flask of hormones or what?! You’re acting irrational!”

Alison. – “With the pregnancy, my hormones are doing crazy things to my body, I’m very moody these days but, that doesn’t mean what I say is no true…”

Spencer snaps. – “You can’t say we don’t care about you! When your life has been on the line, we’ve been there for you, every step of the way, -A, AD… it meant nothing?!”

Alison. – “It hasn’t been every step of the way! You always bail on me, the 1st second you doubt about me!” (Sighs of frustration) “You put me in jail for a murder I didn’t commit! And if that wasn’t enough, once again, you accused me of murder when you said to AD that I killed Cece! If my life has been on the line, it’s because you’re always throwing me under the bus!”

Spencer. – “So, what? Is that reason enough to walk away?! To leave and never go back?! You’re very selfish! You can’t betray us, like that!”

Alison. – “How the hell is, moving on and putting me 1st, betraying you?!”

Spencer. – “Because leaving without planning on coming back, it’s not moving on! That’s sticking a knife in our gut and twisting it!”

Alison says with a bitter voice. – “Yeah, Spencer, that’s…” (She crosses her arms above her chest and says while she narrows her eyes on Spencer) “How does it feel to be in the receiving part, for once?”

Spencer. – “What?! I’ve no idea of what you’re talking about, we…”

Alison cuts her off. – “You left for college, promising we would keep in touch, promising you would come and say ‘hi’ and I don’t know, you, but I really believed it…”

Spencer gulps hard

Alison. – “You left without turning back, why I can’t do the same…?”

The blonde stands up of the sofa, angry, she doesn’t want to keep discussing, getting mad is not good for the babies, so she tries to walk away from the heated discussion, but Spencer doesn’t let her when she grabs her from the arm…

Alison. – “Let me go…”

Spencer. – “No! We haven’t finished talking…”

Alison tries to liberate her arm from Spencer’s grip, they struggle a little and Alison loses balance and falls to the ground. Spencer’s eyes got bigger of shock…

Spencer. – “ALI!”

 

**_*** Emily’s narrative ***_ **

**_Fear… a paralyzing feeling… fear to love and being hurt, fear of failure, fear of the dark… I’ve an endless list of fears but, in the top of my list… the fear of something bad happening to you, it’s the most terrifying of all of them…_ **

 

Since the moment, she received the call, everything felt so unreal; her body moved by itself since her mind was trying to process what was happening; when her brain could finally process the information; she realized she was already, all sweaty, standing in the middle of the ER…

Emily screams with desperation. – “Ali?! ALI?!”

An intern. – “Miss you can’t yell in the ER…”

Emily rambles with despair. – “I… she… I…”

Rambling without sense, she tries to catch her breath since she’s so exhausted for all the running, she ran so fast; the intern has no idea what she wants but when another girl rushes inside, everything makes more sense…

Samara runs to the information module and asks for Alison; Emily noticed her since the moment she got inside the building and, Emily wonders if she looks as despaired and scared as Samara looks right now…

Emily. – “Samara…”

The blonde counselor turns to face her and the brunette gulps hard looking at the scared blonde… Samara is a complete mess… just like her…

Samara. – “What the hell happened?!”

Emily didn’t know the answer of that question but someone else did…

Spencer. – “It’s my fault…”

Samara and Emily turns their head towards Spencer and say at the unison, very angry. – “WHAT?!”

_If looks could kill…_

Spencer takes a deep breath and says with shame. – “I… we had a heated discussion and, she lost balance and fell… everything happened so fast, and… well… we’re here…”

Spencer can’t stand the angry gazes, so, she looks down. Samara steps forwards, towards Spencer, she was definitely going to say her mind but, she doesn’t do it since someone does it before her…

Emily shakes Spencer by the shoulders and says angry. – “What the hell, Spencer?! What did you do?! What did you say to her?! How the hell, she just lost balance and fell?!”

Spencer. – “Em, I…”

Emily cuts her off, angry. – “I swear to God, Spence if something bad happens to her, I’ll never, ever forgive you!”

Spencer gulps hard, she felt bad already and, hearing Emily’s words, it just made her feel worse. Thankfully, a doctor approached and gave them the good news that it wasn’t nothing serious; Alison and the babies looked fine…

Samara. – “So, can she go home?”

The doctor. – “I would prefer she stays, she has a little of hypertension, I would prefer to monitory it since it’s no good for the pregnancy…”

Samara nods

Emily asks. – “Can we see her…?”

The doctor nods. – “Sure, but just one person at a time…”

The girls nod, Spencer hasn’t the nerve to see Alison right now, so she steps back but, two girls step forwards when just one can go… Samara & Emily look at each other, both of them are eager to see the blonde. Behind them, Pam Fields arrives, she clearly reads the situation and decides to ask…

Pam. – “Samara, could you please let Emily see Alison first?”

Samara turns her head towards Pam and sighs deeply…

Pam pleads. – “Please…?”

Taking another deep breath, the blonde looks at them, she hesitates but she’s too noble so, she steps back; she locks her eyes on Emily and says with a serious look…

Samara. – “She has been very moody these days, the hormones have made her very sensitive, so, please, just please don’t say something which can make her mad…”

Emily nods without stop…

Samara. – “I’ll see her after you… just this time… ok? Don’t make her hypertension get higher, don’t make her angry or sad…” (Sighs) “Don’t make me regret letting you go 1st…”

Emily keeps nodding and mumbles a thank you while she follows the doctor… In silence she walks through the hallways of the hospital; Emily sighs heavy, feeling overwhelmed… the smell of antiseptic… a linoleum floor, cloudy and white… all overlapping with Alison… the brunette doesn’t like hospitals, ti brings back bad memories when her Dad died, and Emily would love to never put a foot in a hospital but she’s not running away from Alison… no, this time…

They arrive to the room, and, the doctor just take note of what he reads on Alison’s monitors and left them alone…

Emily mumbles with a shy voice. – “Ali? Ali, can you hear me…?”

The blonde looks asleep, Emily slowly approaches, she sits beside her and holds Alison’s hand. Tears fall from her eyes, Emily can’t stop them, she’s happy to see Alison but she’s still so worried of something bad happening to her, so, she holds Alison’s hand between her hands and, softly kisses Alison’s hand.

The constant sound of the monitors, the quiet room, sitting beside a hospital bed; the last time she was in a situation like this, it’s when her Dad died and remembering that, it brings the worst fears on Emily. In moments like this, she would pray, like her mom taught her but since Wayne Fields died, she has never prayed again, she has never searched any reassurance from her faith neither tried to talk with God… till now…

Emily looks up and says while she holds Alison’s hand. – “I believe you’re there… I believe in you…” (She gazes towards Alison and says with tears) “Oh, I want to believe…” (She sees Alison and says with determination) “No, I will believe in you, ok?” (She looks up and keeps saying with a heartbreaking voice and tears on her eyes) “I’ll do whatever you want… I’ll do anything! Just protect her… ok?”

The brunette grips harder on Alison’s hand and with so noisy sobs, the blonde wakes up but, Emily hasn’t noticed it…

Emily. – “If you exist, please, don’t take her away too… don’t let anything bad happen to her; don’t take Alison, please! Please!”

Alison wildly opens her eyes and gulps hard looking at the crushed brunette…

Emily keeps sobbing and talking with God. – “If you ask me what I’m afraid of… it’s this: she, in pain, she, getting hurt… something bad happening to Ali, it’s my worst fear…” (tears) “She’s my world, nothing bad can happen to her…” (She completely loses it when she cries) “I can’t live in a world without Alison in it!”

The brunette burst in tears, she buries her face against Alison’s bed and, she feels so despaired, so lost, so crushed until someone hugs her and says to her…

Alison. – “Em, calm down, I’m ok…”

Emily looks up, her make-up is a complete mess, but it doesn’t matter; the only that matter is that she can see those blue eyes once again…

Emily mumbles. – “Ali? Ali… ALI!”

The brunette hugs the blonde, very, very tight, and Alison just let her…

Alison says with a soft voice while she rubs Emily’s back. – “It’s ok, Em, I’m ok… the babies and me, we’re ok…”

The blonde reassures her that everything is going to be ok and, for a moment all her worries, all her fears, all her sorrow, it just disappeared. Emily believed in it, more than anything, she believed in Alison’s words and, Emily wildly open her eyes, realizing she believes in Alison’s words… she believes in the blonde, more than anything else in the world…

 

**_*** Emily’s narrative ***_ **

**_Emotions are never black & white, they’re more like symptoms. You lose your breath every time you see her… your heart beats faster when she’s closed to you… your skin tingles when you stand close enough to feel her breath… yeah, you feel the symptoms, you know the name of your illness and yet… yet you do nothing about it…_ **

 

Sitting on the kissing rock, a drunk girl drinks what it’s her 12th beer of the night; the bottle is empty… she tries to reach a new one and badly falls from the rock and hits the ground; looking up what its beside her, she chuckles with sadness while she stares at the initials engraved on that rock. The drunk girl maps the initials with her fingertips and, she bursts in tear, leaning her head against that rock…

Emily drunk cries. – “Despite everything… despite all the lies, all the pain… I believed in your words… I believe in your words…”

Someone approaches…

Hanna sighs. – “Thank God! I finally found you! You got us worried, we’ve been looking for you for hours!” (She looks at all the empty bottles around the girl and asks) “Did you drink all of this by yourself?!” (She looks at the crying girl and says with concern) “EM! What is wrong?”

Rushing towards the crying drunk brunette; Hanna sits beside her and, immediately, Emily hugs her by the neck, burring her head on Hanna while she keeps lamenting…

Hanna rubs Emily’s arm. – “Hey, hey, hey, what is wrong, Em? Talk with me…”

Emily sobs. – “It’s _‘despite’_ , Hann! It’s despite everything…!”

Hanna frowns. – “Em, I don’t get what you’re trying to say…”

Emily pulls away and their eyes meet; with her hands, Hanna tries to clear Emily’s tears, but they keep coming…

Hanna sighs. – “Em…”

Emily sobs. – “It’s too late, isn’t? I realized about it too late, isn’t?!”

Hanna. – “Em, I’ve no idea of what you’re talking…”

Emily quivers her lips down and once again, she bursts in tears while Hanna stays at her side and hugs her…

 

**_*** Emily’s narrative ***_ **

**_Have you ever thought about how many things in our lives are all about timing? Winning a race, getting 1 st in line… Timing dictates so much about our environment, about our life, about us… timing is everything… so, what if your timing was off? Would it change things? A little? A lot? Would you give up, knowing it’s too late? Would you really give up if timing was off?_ **

 

The knock of the door wakes her up and she jumps from the chair, surprised. She turns her head and she frowns…

Samara. – “Emily…?”

The brunette shyly smiles and looking at the sleeping beauty, she asks…

Emily. – “How is she?”

Samara looks at the sleeping blonde who’s even snoring, and she chuckles with happiness while she replies…

Samara. – “She’s fine, the babies are fine, the doctor said I can bring her home tomorrow…”

Emily smiles. – “That’s good…” (She looks down and playing with her fingers she says with a shy voice) “I… can I’ve a word with you, please?”

Samara nods. – “Yeah, sure…” (She puts her blanket over Alison and softly kisses Alison’s front-head when she says) “I’ll be back in a second, ok…?”

The blonde doesn’t reply, she’s deeply asleep, but feeling the soft kiss, Alison smiles under her sleep. They get outside the hospital for a little walk; they walk in silence till one of them starts talking…

Emily. – “You know what sucks? Realizing everything you believed is a completely bullshit….” (Sad chuckle) “It really sucks…”

Samara. – “What do you mean?”

Emily. – “You know… destiny and soulmates… true love and all of that childhood fairy tale… It’s nonsense…”

Samara frowns. – “What are you talking about…?”

Emily. – “If I believed in destiny, in fairy tales… then, you would be the charming princess in the story… the one that destiny put in Ali’s path…”

Samara frowns. – “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here, Emily…”

Emily. – “You’re the better choice, it’d be a mistake to see it any other way; you make her smile, you make her feel better about herself, you’re good with her… you’re obviously the one she deserves because she deserves the best but…”

Samara. – “But…?”

The brunette steps forwards and they keep talking, standing face to face…

Emily. – “But you don’t need her like I do…”

Samara. – “What?!”

Emily. – “I just I-I’m in a lot of pain here; I’m really suffering because I love her… I really, really love her…”

For Samara, it wasn’t a surprise to hear this, but she definitely didn’t look happy either…

Emily continues. – “And I know I haven’t always been one to put myself out there and fight for what I want like…” (Deep breath and a step forwards) “But, I’m doing it now because despite our messy story, our painful moments… despite all her defects, all her lies, all her mistakes… I love her… I realize I always knew that, but it, it scared me…” (Sad sigh) “I wasn’t ready for it…” (She says with determination) “But I’m ready now…”

Samara’s body tenses and says. – “I’m her girlfriend… she’s my girlfriend…”

Emily nods. – “I know… I get it… I know it, which is why this is probably not cool of me, but I don’t care… I love her, I’m sure about it now and, I’ll fight for her… I’ll do my best to win her back… because I need her…”

Samara. – “Why you’re telling me this?”

Emily. – “When you started having feeling for Ali, you told me about it, looking at me into the eyes; I thought I should do the same…”

Samara gulps and Emily stands in front of her with determination while she says…

Emily. – “You asked me before, what I want, and I didn’t know how to answer it back then, but now I know… I want Ali at my side, I want her love and I’ll go after it like a shark… I’ll no apologize, I’ll no worry about what anybody else think… for the 1st time in my life, I’ll stay true to myself and to my feelings… I’m fighting for her love and I’ll not stop till I’ve it…”

 

You can’t just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Love is not a fairy tale, love is messy, painful but, even if it hurts like hell, you should never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about; and these two girls, they’ll care enough to fight for the Queen Bee to the end. Who will win? That’s a question just one blonde can answer…

 


	9. Chapter 9

_***** Emily's narrative ***** _

_**I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so you can fix them…** _

In the hospital room, there, she was, Alison, in complete silence, with the eyes wild open while someone was exposing its heart…

Emily. – "Ali… I came here today because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible…" (She holds Alison's hands and says while she looks at her into the eyes) "Ali, I… I can't live without you… I…"

Alison sighs hard, she avoids eye-contact and takes her hands away from Emily. The brunette presses her lips together and closes her fists, she can see that Alison is not comfortable with this conversation, but, she can't turn back, now…

Emily. – "Tell me you don't love me…"

Alison suddenly spins her head towards the brunette and, looks at Emily into the eyes. – "What?!"

Emily. – "Tell me you don't love me, tell me you don't feel anything for me, and I'll stop chasing you…"

Alison gasps, not really sure how to reply, because one of part of her feels like she'll always love Emily but even then; she can't find herself saying 'I love you'… frustrating isn't it? How is possible to have grey zones in the heart? But, to be honest, the blonde can't really make a statement and, when her lips get sealed with a kiss… well... it doesn't help either...

Alison blushes. – "Wh….?!"

Emily softly presses her lips against the soft lips of the blonde and the brunette brightly smiles with that tender kiss but, looking at the blonde, Alison is completely pale like if she has seen a ghost or worse… this is too much for the blonde… too much to handle right now, this wasn't supposed to happen, this complicate everything! Everything! Even breathing...

Emily. – "Ali…? Are you ok…?"

The blonde starts having issues to breathe; she was having a panic attack and the monitors go crazy, which makes Emily go crazy worry too…

Emily. – "Ali!" (She rushes outside and yells) "A doctor, please!"

_***** Samara's narrative ***** _

_**There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may see crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.** _

She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think with clarity and she faded. Everything felt so wrong, so frustrating wrong till she opens her eyes again…

Samara smiles and caresses Alison's face. – "Hey, sleepy head…"

How is possible that all the stress, all the worries get erased with just one smile? Alison asks herself that question while she smiles too…

Alison. - "Hi."

They smile each other and Alison's breathing comes normal, once again, she can breathe...

Samara. – "You got us worried a moment ago… are you feeling ok?"

Alison smiles and says while she leans towards Samara and, hugs her. – "I'm feeling better now… thanks to you…"

Samara smiles and happily hugs her too. They keep the hug for a long, very long moment till…

Samara. – "We need to talk…"

Panic invades, once again, Alison's body and, the other blonde notices it…

Alison's mind. – "Did Emily tell her about the kiss? Is she going to leave me? Is she mad? Am I gonna lose her…? I…"

Samara caresses Alison's cheek. – "Ali, relax, nothing bad will happen, okay?"

Alison gulps hard, her eyes don't stop to moving with fear so,Samara softly holds Alison's hands and with her thumbs, she makes little circles over Alison's hands, in order to calm Alison down... and it works…

Alison looks at their hands and feeling ashamed, she says. – "I… I…"

Samara. – "I know Emily kissed you…"

Alison looks at her into the eyes and, wildly open her eyes in shock when she hears Samara's words; Panic is reflected in Alison's eyes and, Samara sees it so, she softly caresses Alison's cheek while she says…

Samara chuckles with sadness. – "I should be mad at you, for kissing your ex, but look at this pretty face… how can anyone get mad at you…?"

Alison chuckles and blushes; she turns her head to the right avoiding eye-contact…

Alison mumbles. – "She's not my Ex… Emily is not my Ex…"

Samara. – "You're right, she's not… it's worse, she's an oat you never figured out and I…" (Deep breath) "I think you need to try that oat…"

Alison looks at her into the eyes and says in shock. – "WHAT?!" (She shakes her head with watery-eyes) "No, Sam! I want you! I don't want to lose you! I…"

Samara holds Alison's head in her hands and pulls her into a fiery and passionate kiss. Their lips brush against each other. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding more and more... Samara tried to pull away before losing herself in that kiss but, Alison didn't let her; each time that Samara tried to pulls away, Alison dragged her back to her lips…In this minty moment, Samara's senses have been seduced and she can no longer think straight. "Alison" she whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. And, Alison smiles, Alison's heart is fluttering at her voice. Never before has her name ever felt so wonderful a one…

Needing air to breathe, they pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths. Samara leans in, so her forehead rests against Alison's. They close their eyes. Both their breaths are shaking...

Samara says in barely more than a whisper. - "Thank you"

Alison replies, her voice low and husky. - "For what?"

Samara's voice wavers, exhilarated from the passionate kiss they had between them. - "For being you."

Alison holds Samara's hand against her chest, she closes harder her eyes while she tries to don't cry but, a tear finds its way and rolls over her cheek...

Samara says while she removes the tear with her thumb. - "Don't cry..."

Alison. - "I can't avoid it, this is the 1st time someone thanks me for being me... just me..."

Without words, Samara kisses Alison's front-head and says. – "You know how they say we only use ten percent of our brains? I think we only use ten percent of our hearts and that's wrong… we should use more our hearts than our brains…"

Alison. – "Sam, I…"

Samara cuts her off. – "I love you Ali… I fell for you like I have never done it before for anyone. And, you see me like this perfect girl, you put me in this pedestal, but I'm not perfect, I make mistakes…" (She rambles with sadness) "Maybe this one, It's a mistake but…" (She says to Alison) "Ali… I believe you need to figure out if Emily is the one for you…"

Alison shakes her head with tears. – "No…"

Samara pleads. – "Ali, please, listen to me…"

Alison shakes her head and pouts angry. – "NO!"

Samara pleads with watery-eyes. – "Ali! Please!"

They stare at each other, deep into each other's eyes. Sam's full of wonder and love, Alison's full of fear and love...

Alison mumbles. – "Sam, I… I can't…"

Samara. – "What are you so afraid of…?"

Alison. – "Me? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of letting you walk out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you…"

Samara smiles with Alison's words… this is hard, this is really hard for her but, she's determinated to step back and let Alison finds her happiness...

**_*** Samara's narrative ***_ **

**_It's very hard to let someone go; it gets more painful when you two know you're right for each other but, that doesn't exactly mean you're right for each other right now... I've never put real faith in 'if you love someone then, let it free crap'... but, I'm determinate to see her happy in this life and, I love her... I mean, I'll always love her but, our timing looks never right..._ **

Samara. – "Ali, the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. And you, my darling, you're so loved…" (Their front-head rest against each other) "Ali, I love you, I'm noy walking away, I'm not ditching you or leaving you… I'm telling you, you're free to explore your feelings, your emotions…"

Alison. – "Sam… I…"

Samara. – "There's nothing worse than not knowing and you, you need to figure out what you want… who you want…"

Alison sighs deeply…

Samara. – "It doesn't matter if the person is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other..." (Sighs) "All I desire is your happiness. You're better than what you think and, you deserve better, you deserive happiness & love...you deserve be happy with the perfect match for you…"

Alison mumbles. – "Even if that's not you…?"

Samara chuckles with a sad voice. – "Even if at the end, your choice is not me; yeah Ali, you've to find out who's your true happiness; don't stay with someone you can live with, stay with the person who you cannot live without..."

Alison takes a deep breath and, looks down at her lap. Samara kisses her front-head and says while she gets ready to leave…

Samara. – "Take all the time you need, do whatever you need… just promise me something…"

Alison. – "What? What do you want me to promise you?"

Samara. – "Promise me you will don't let what anyone wants eclipse what you need. Any girl can appear very dreamy but, no one is the sun, you're… you're your sun… you're too good, too smart to be eclipsed by anyone else… so no matter what, promise me, you'll always put yourself first… ok?"

Alison nods. – "Ok…"

They hug and under the hug, the blonde says…

Alison. - "Thank you."

Samara. - "For what?"

Alison. - "For being my friend, for understanding me better than anyone else, for trusthing me and for believing in me like no one else has done it before..."

Samara. – "I wish I could make you see you through my eyes... see this girl, this woman who has more heart and intelligence and beauty and grace then anyone else who's walking the face of the planet..."

Alison blushes, a smile appears in her face and, when she feels that Samara pulls away, she grabs Samara's hand; stopping her to leave...

Samara sighs. - "Ali..."

Alison. - "Stay 5mn..."

They stare at each other into the eyes, they know this is a good-bye for now, but Alison's not ready to let her go...

Alison pleads. - "Just 5 mn..."

Samara takes a deep breath and nods; she sits in the chair which is beside Alison's bed and, Alison holds her hand till she falls asleep. Alison falls asleep and Samara stays there, just looking at her...

**_*** Samara's narrative ***_ **

**_You know you love someone when you can spend the entire day, just sitting by her side; seeing her sleep..._ **

* * *

 

_Some days later..._

**_(In the Fields house)_ **

Emily happily opens the door and rushes inside her house with the baggage…

Emily smiles. – "I'm so happy you decided to stay here, with us…"

Alison replies. – "I'm just staying till I give birth, ok? You said you wanted to be more involved so…"

Emily smiles a lot, even if Alison says this is temporary, for her, this is a chance to make it permanent. The brunette is glowing with hope of what can come with this…

Alison. – "Where is your mom?"

Emily. – "This week-end, she's in Texas, visiting the family; she will be back next week…"

Alison. – "Is she ok, with me here?"

Emily. – "Off course! She's so happy, I'm so happy… we're really happy of having you here, with us…"

Alison takes a deep breath and walks inside the house she knows very well but, even then, she feels so unfamiliar with it. Emily do all the work for the accommodations; they install Alison in the guest room; Emily would love to share the same room with Alison, but, she decides to don't push too much and give the blonde a little of space. Alison sits on the unfamiliar bed, she's touching the sheets when she realizes someone's standing under the door frame…

Emily. – "Are you hungry?"

Alison mumbles while she rubs her big belly. – "I'm always hungry…"

Both girl chuckle and, Emily says while she walks away…

Emily. – "Is ok if I cook chicken…?"

Alison raises an eye brow. – "You cook?"

Emily chuckles. – "Just chicken… it's a family's recipe…"

Alison looks no confident of Emily's skills…

Emily reassures her. – "I'll not poison you, ok?"

Alison teases. – "I hope not, I just got out of the hospital, I really don't want to go back…"

Both girl laugh and, Emily just go to the kitchen to cook dinner for them.

_***** Emily's narrative ***** _

_**Failure is inevitable, unavoidable but failure should never get the last word. You've to hold on to what you want. You have to hold on to what you want. You have to not take no for an answer and take what's coming to you. Never give in, never give up. Stand up. Stand up and take it…** _

Intrigued by seeing how Emily cooks; Alison spies on her; Alison chuckles since the brunette is too clumsy in the kitchen…

Alison. – "Do you need help?"

Emily. – "Huh?" (She drops all the casseroles) "Damn it…"

Alison chuckles and says while she steps in. – "Let me give you a hand…"

The brunette wants to protest but, the blonde takes the lead in the kitchen and to be honest; Emily loves it. Cutting vegetables, handing the ingredients over to each other in perfect synchrony; Emily can't stop imaging if this is how would be if they stay together…

Alison. – "Ok, done! Now we just need to wait for the chicken to be cooked in the oven…"

Emily smiles; it smells really good and, when the chicken is ready, it tastes even better of what Emily remembers; the brunette can't stop wondering if the good taste of this meal is due to the fact they did it together…

Alison. – "This dinner was really good, thank you…"

Emily holds Alison's right hand and says. – "No, thank you… thank you for being here…"

Alison blushes and she shyly pulls back her hand, puting her hands on her lap.

Emily. – "Ali…?"

Alison looks down and plays with her fingers…

Emily. – "Can you look at me, please… Ali…?"

It takes her a moment to be brave enough to look up, and when she does it, she gulps hard when she sees those brown eyes, looking at her with so much eager of something more…

Emily. – "I love you Ali… I always have… I will always love you. I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. I love you, and I think that you love me too. Do you?"

Alison spaces out...

Emily. - "Do you love me, Ali?"

Alison looks down and, takes a deep breath while she says. – "I… I don't know…"

Emily mumbles with sadness. – "Am I an idiot for thinking we can work this out together?"

The brunette's heart is pending in the cliff and before falling to the depth of desolation; Alison holds Emily's hands and, a tiny spark of hope appears in Emily's heart...

Alison. – "I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you; you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite all of that, I like you, very much. Just as you are…"

Emily smiles and blushes...

Alison. – "I like you Em, you're the 1st person I ever kissed and really made me feel something, and I would love to say to you: I want you to be my last but…" (Deep sighs) "I don't know with who I want to spend the rest of my life…"

Emily. – "I know it's all been awful, and I've been awful many times but…." (She smiles with tears in her eyes) "I love you…"

Alison gulps hard

Emily. – "And I know I'm late… I know I can't promise everything will be perfect, that I'll never doubt you, that I'll never feel insecure and, hurt you but… I love you and I can't lose you…" (She pleads with a heart wrenching voice) "So, please, give me another chance. I'm a wreck without you."

Alison. – "Em…"

Emily. – "I can do better… I'll do better…"

Alison runs a hand through her hair, she doesn't know what to answer…

Emily. – "You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. I just didn't believe in me. I love you and I need you…" (She holds Alison's hand) "I love you and I'm not going to stop loving you, Ali… I can't live without you, I don't want to live without you, and I'm going to do everything in my power to prove it… just give me a chance ok?"

Alison sighs hard, she doesn't know what to say, so she just nods and forces a smile into her lips...

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_Love... for me, love isn't like a new song, but like opening a book and finding a language you'd never seen before. Love, you're something beautiful; meeting you is like meeting an enigma. I don't know how you exist in this world yet you do. So let me tell you now dear love, you are the trap I've been wanting to fall into my whole life; liberty from you would simply be an infinite prison. I am the softness you seek and you are the cradle for my head and heart. dI love you 'Love'. That means I would defend you with my life even if the odds are insurmountable but, the problem is not loving you or having you, the problem is with whom I've to link you... who I'm supposed to love...?_ **

* * *

 

_Some weeks after..._

**_(In Rosewood school, during the ball)_ **

Alison wasn't sure to go but, the class needed a chaperone so, here she's, with a big belly, watching the kids in their formal ball...

Emily. - "The earrings that I bought you look really good in you..."

Alison doesn't make a comment about it, she just forces a smile into her lips since the only reason, she's wearing them, is because it's a gift from Emily. It has become an habit that each time they get into an argument, Emily rushes and buys something to make it better. And, with the swin moods of the pregnancy, Alison has been very moody and Emily snaps fast each time that Alison is in a bad mood. Then for, Emily has spent more money in jewellery the past few weeks than she has ever done in her life. Alison has told her to don't buy her things, but the brunette doesn't listen and each time they fight about something; Emily appears the next day with a gift and, Alison just sighs hard and accepts it, even if she doesn't like it...

Emily asks. - "Do you want to dance...?"

Alison shakes her head, pats her belly and says. - "I can barely move so..."

Emily looks down. - "Oh..."

The swim team asks Emily to join them into the dance floor; the brunette hesitates but, Alison tells her to go so, the brunette stands up, leaving a moody pregnant blonde alone in the table. The blonde was counting the minutes to leave, she was eager to leave since she wasn't in the mood of being around teenagers but, when someone touches her shoulder and she sees who's this person; she's no longer eager to leave...

Alison mumbles with a smile. - "Sam..."

Samara smiles. - ""There's something I've been wanting to ask all night: would you like to dance with me?"

Alison nods and says without hesitation. - "Yes"

Samara smiles and with a lot of tenderness, she helps Alison to stand up; they don't go the core of the dance floor, Samara doesn't want Alison to get pressed between the crowd, so, they start dancing just beside their table, far away from the dance floor, very far from the rest of the world...

Samara says while the're dancing. - "How come this feels so right?"

Alison sadly smiles. - "I think it's one of those dances..."

They both sadly chuckle and, keep dancing in silence till Samara notices the earrings that Alison is wearing...

Samara touches the earring and says. - "When did you get those? They are not you..."

Alison. - "Why you say that?"

Samara. - "You prefer argent above gold... you don't like big jewellery; you like simple, small but..."

They say at the unison. - "But sophisticated..."

Their eyes meet and they smile to each other, realizing they know each other so well, they can finish their sentence...

Samara. - "This remind me, I... I've something for you... I wanted to give it to you on your birthday last week but, I coudln't afford it till now..."

Alison frowns confused for what Samara was going to give her but, when she sees Samara getting an argent bracelet from her purse, the blonde English teacher just gasps, surprised...

Alison mumbles. - "It's my mom's bracelet, the one that..."

Samara. - "The one that was in the pawnshop..."

Alison looks at her and Samara blushes with such intense gaze from Alison...

Samara says while she puts it on Alison's wrist. - "6 months ago, we were walking on the big avenue, we were walking around since you weren't sure if you wanted sushi or italian for dinner... you were wearing this new dress you brought online..." (She chuckles under the memory of that day) "It was blue with flowers, it fit you perfectly and, you looked so beautiful that day..."

Alison mumbles. - "You remember what I wore that day...?"

Samara. - "I even remember what perfum you were wearing; 'J'adore' of Dior..."

Alison blushes, she can't believe that Samara recalls each detail about their time together so well...

Samara. - "Well, like I was saying, we past in front this pawnshop and, you stopped for a second, you stared at the window and told me 'look Sam, that's my mom's bracelet which I had to sell because Archer took all my money',..."

Alison. - "So you bought it for me...?"

Samara. - "You looked so sad that day, I could see that the bracelet meant something for you so..." (She touches Alison's wrist with the bracelet on it and says) "So, I just thought that you should have it back..."

Alison. - "That was 6 months ago... I can't believe you remember that..."

Their eyes meet...

Samara. - "I remember everything..." (She holds Alison's hand on hers and says while she leans her front-head to rest on Alison's front-head) "I remember everything about you..."

Alison closes her eyes, a tear slips from her eyes while they keep dancing in silence. Alison gently leans her head on Samara's shoulder and kisses Sam's warm shoulder. Samara just presses her lips together, a tear falls too from her eyes, unable to contain how Alison makes her feel. They keep slow dancing in silence. Alison's hands work their way around Samara's body, feeling eager to touch each line along her perfect figure and, Sam's hands venture over Alison's curved body, exploring. The song ends and they slowly pull apart. They stare at each other, deep into each other's eyes. Sam's full of tenderness and love, Alison's full of wonder and love. No words are spoken but a story worthy of them is communicated, a story that anyone can see, anyone...

Emily mumbles while she sees them into the distance. - "Ali.."

* * *

 

_**(In the Fields house at night)** _

After the ball, they go back home, the drive home was very quiet. Once in home; Alison was ready to get in bed when someone knocks her door...

Emily asks. - "Can I come in?"

Alison nods. - "Yeah, sure..."

The blonde was sitting on her bed and taking off the earrings when Emily notices the bracelet she's wearing...

Emily mumbles. - "You weren't wearing that before..."

Alison replies. - "No, I wasn't..."

Emily tries to don't get angry or say something which could trigger another argument but, she can't deny she's hurt by how happy Alison looks when she sees the bracelet...

Emily says with a bitter voice. - "You didn't want to dance but, you danced with Samara...?"

Alison rolls her eyes. - "Emily, please, let's no fight, I really don't want to fight with you again today..."

Emily snaps. - "I don't want to fight either but, you can't expect me to look happy for what I just saw tonight!"

Alison. - "And, what did you see?!"

Emily gulps hard, she says with a sad voice. - "I saw the way you looked at her, tonight..."

Alison sighs hard, she has no words to say and, when she sees the brunette, kneeling on one knee, she gets even more speachless of what she was already...

Alison mumbles with shock. - "What are you doing...?!"

Emily. - "I've been with lots of girls but, I was never trully happy, I never understood why till now..." (She holds Alison's hands and says while they stare at each other into the eyes) "I could never be trully happy since my heart never left this town... it never left you..."

Alison gulps

Emily. - "Ali, I love you... I knew it from the 1st moment you kissed me and maybe, even before that... and, the thing is that I don't want to deny it anymore..."

The brunette gets a ring from her pocket and Alison gasps... surprised...

Emily. - "This love's so moving... mostly running... don't ask me to give up because I can't... I can't give up in my forever... I'm supposed to be with you... I always knew it..."

Alison mumbles. - "Emily, I..."

Emily. - "This is my grandma's ring..."

Alison shakes her head. - "Emily... I..."

Emily. - "We fight, and I may don't know what really is happening in your head most of the time but, you need to know I'm serious about us, I'm all in. I'm not going anywhere without you... my future lies with you... I know it, everytime I see you. I just hope, you'll see it too..."

Alison sighs. - "Em... I..."

Emily says with the ring on her hands. - "Marry me... choose me, Ali... choose us..."

Alison gasps surprised, she looks at the brunette, at her 1st love, kneeling on one knee with a ring on her hands and, Alison wavers her eyes between the ring and the bracelet she has in her wrist; the blonde wavers since she doesn't know what to say... who to choose... who to love...

_***** Alison's narrative ***** _

_**I believe in the kind of love that doesn't demand me to prove my worth and sit in anxiety. I crave a natural connection, where my soul is able to recognize a feeling of home in another. Something free-flowing, something simple. Something that allows me to be me without question… that's love for me… and for you? What is love for you? If you were me, who you would choose?** _


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is the ending of this mini emison story & I hope you like it. This chapter is long and, starts the same night when Emily proposes; at the end of the chapter, you'll see the same scene of the airport that happens in chapter 8, there'll be some time jumps too. Have a great day and thank you if you've the time to leave a comment or a kudo or both ^^. See U soon!

__

**_(In Alison's house)_ **

It was around 11pm when Samara heard noises on the door...

Samara. - "Who...?"

Thinking it was a thief, she grabs her phone and gets ready to call the police but, she puts her phone down when she sees who's getting inside the house...

Samara frowns. - "Alison...? Wh-...?"

Alison says while she rushes to her room. - "I don't want to talk just let me go to my room and please don't ask me why I'm here..."

The blonde walks in and, Samara doesn't know what is happening neither if she should ask what is bringing her home but, looking at the confused look of Alison; Samara decides to don't ask anything and let the girl just go upstairs to her room...

* * *

 

**_(At the same time, in a bar)_ **

Hanna says while she drinks a beer. - "I love Em when she gets drunk and high to avoid things..."

Spencer doesn't make a comment about it, she just sighs deeply while she stares at the drunk brunette who's embarassing herself by singing alone on top of a table...

Aria. - "Do we know why she's like that...?"

Hanna smirks. - "Oh, I know..."

Spencer & Aria gazes towards Hanna, waiting to hear the ending of that sentence but, Hanna don't say a word...

Hanna shrungs. - "What?!"

Spencer. - "Are you not gonna tell us what is coming on here?!"

Aria. - "Spence is right, you can't just say that you know and don't tell us anything..."

Hanna dramatically rolls her eyes and, before she could say a word, someone else approaches and says...

Emily. - "I proposed to Alison..."

Spencer & Aria say at unison. - "You WHAT?!"

Emily drinks 2 shots in a row and nods with sad chuckles...

Emily. - "Yeah... I... and she..." (Sad laugh) "She turned me down..."

The brunette is so broken and, like always she copes her sorrow with alcohol. Emily can see the pitty look of her friends but, she doesn't need pitty, she just need _her._.. a blonde who can't take out of her mind... out of her heart...

* * *

 

_**(In Alison's house, after midnight)** _

_Jerry Magire. - "We live in a_ _cynical_ _world,_ _cynical_ _world... and... I love you... you complete me..."_

_The girl. - "Shut up... shut up... you had me at hello... you had me at hello..."_

Alison was watching her favorite movie 'Jerry Magire' and she replays over and over the part when Jerry declares his love...

Alison mumbles. - "If love could be simple, just like in the movies..."

Lost on her thoughts, she doesn't notice that someone was in her frame door... an unexpected visit...

Jason. - "There's no simple love stories. If it's simple, it's not love..."

Alison gasps and smiles. - "Jason?!"

He smiles and gets closer to hug her...

Jason. - "Hi, Ali..."

Alison. - "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Africa..."

Jason. - "I was but, I wanted to see you..." (He looks at her big belly and says) "Wow, you're huge!"

Alison play-fully hits his arm and he chuckles. Between them, it has always been this kind of tough love.

Jason. - "So... Samara let me in... she's nice..."

Alison nods with a smile

Jason. - "And, what about Emily...?"

Alison avoids eye-contact and sighs hard. - "That's... that's a very long complicated story..."

Jason. - "I'm up for a long story if you want to tell me about it..."

Alison sighs, she's no the kind of person to open up and talk about her feelings but, she's so confused right now that, she decides to talk it out, hoping that it will clear her mind...

* * *

 

_**(At the bar)** _

Emily rambles with a tipsy voice while she's leaning her head on the drinking bar. - "She's pretty, the kind of pretty that causes you butterflies..."

The bartender. - "So, what are you doing here? Go with this girl you've been talking about, don't waste your time in a bar... in my experience, you don't come across that many people with the ability of giving you butterflies"

Emily says with a sad voice and a tear. - "She'll never going to love me the way she loves her..."

The bartender frowns. - "Her? Wh-...?"

Emily falls asleep and he's cut off when someone gets inside the bar and stands beside the drunk Emily...

Samara. - "How drunk is she?"

The bartender. - "As drunk as her other friends over there..."

The blonde looks around and sighs while she sees the other girls passed out...

Samara says while she types on her phone. - "I'm calling their boyfriends to pick them up..."

The bartender says while he points out towards the brunette who's snoring over the drinking bar. - "And what about this one...?"

Samara sighs and says while she puts Emily's arm over her neck. - "I'm taking care of this one..."

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_It's not always easy to speak your mind, sometimes you need to be forced to do it. And, when that happens, when your whole body is aching to talk. You can't keep playing dumb.._**.

* * *

 

**_(Alison's house)_ **

Alison heard noises in the living room, she was wondering why Samara was being so noisy when she walks towards the living room...

Alison. - "Why are you making so much noise? It's 2am of the morning! It's..."

The blonde stops talking when she realizes that the noises are made by a drunk brunette...

Emily says with a tipsy voice while she waves her drunk hand. - "Hi, Ali..."

Alison sighs deeply. - "You're drunk..."

Emily nods

Alison croses her arms above her chest. - "Did Sam bring you here?"

Emily nods

Alison. - "Where is she?"

Emily shrugs and, Alison rolls her eyes, she was going to leave and look for the other girl when someone stops her, grabbing her arm...

Emily pouts sad. - "Don't leave..."

Alison looks at the drunk brunette, she's angry but she's not sure if she's angrier with Emily or with herself, for putting the brunette in such pain that she had to cope with alcohol...

Emily says with puppy eyes. - "I love u..."

Alison shakes her head. - Em, please don't... you're drunk and..."

Emily. - "And, what?"

Alison. - "We're not having this talk with you like that... drunk..."

Emily. - "I'm done with talking..."

The brunette pulls from Alison's arm and briefly kisses her since Alison pushes her away very fast...

Alison says angry. - "No!"

Emily says angry. - "Why not?! Why?!"

Alison. - "I don't doubt that you want me Emily, I just... I don't think its because you really love me..."

Emily. - "Ok, stop, just stop right there... you and I both know that if I was in this relationship for sex or the twins, I wouldn't be drowning my broken heart with alcohol..."

Alison sighs hard, she sits in her sofa and shakes her head. The blonde was rubbing her belly when the drunk brunette knees in front of her. They look at each other into the eyes and one of them says...

Emily. - "I love you! Don't you get it?! I love u... oh g... oh, my god, that just comes fly-flying out of my face like it was s-s-some kind of... I... I just God..."

Alison mumbles. - "Sometimes, it's better to just keep things to yourself, play dumb, even when..."

Emily. - "Even when you feel it? Even if it makes you feel alive...?

Alison's doesn't reply, she just sighs...

Emily says while she points out at Alison. - "Just look at you! How someone can just no love you?! Impossible..."

Alison avoids eye-contact and says while she blushes with Emily's words. - "Em, please stop, please..."

Emily says angry with herself. - "I should have fight for you... I should have fight to be with you sooner... I..."

Alison says with pain in her voice. - "You broke my heart..."

Emily sadly nods and, chuckles. - "Yeah..." (She looks down and mumbles) "You have broken my heart too..."

Alison. - "More than once..."

Emily nods

Alison takes a deep breath and says. - "We have broken our hearts so many times... we have hurt each other so many times... why you keep insisting in an 'us'?! Why don't just let it go...?"

Emily says with a wrenching voice, frustrated. - "I've been trying not to say it, not to feel it, I've been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and not say it and..." (frustrated groan) "And, Jesus! Samara is a great person!"

Alison turns her face towards the brunette and, Emily sadly smiles while she looks at those blue eyes...

Emilya says with pain in her voice. - "She's so good for you... she's... she's gorgeous, and-and she's so better than me because she's not fucked up like I'm..."

Alison. - "Em..."

Emily. - "Please, just let me finish"

Alison sighs and nods

Emily takes a deep breath and continues. - "And, yeah, she's great for you, she really likes you and she's..."

Alison mumbles. - "Not complicated..."

Emily nods. - "Yeah... no... not complicated..."

They stay in silence for a brief moment till...

Emily. - "I don't want to complicate your life, I don't want to stress your life... but... I'm so in love with you..."

Alison sighs. - "Em..."

Emily says while she puts her hands over her chest. - "You're-you're... you're in me... it's... you're like... it's... it's like you're a disease!"

Alison raises an eye-brow. - "A disease?!"

Emily. - "Yeah, a disease! It's like I'm infected by Alison DiLaurentis..." (Sad chuckle) "And I can't think about anything or anybody..." (Sad voice and tears) "And I can't sleep..."

Alison gulps hard

Emily says with a wrenching voice and tears in her eyes. - "I can't breathe... I can't eat and, I love you, I just... I love you all the time, just every minute of every day. And I-I-I... I just love YOU!" (The brunette stands up and with the hands up, she says) "God! It feels good to say that... I... I... I feel so much better..."

The brunette throws her body on the sofa, she sits beside Alison and, says while she's falling asleep again...

Emily rambles with a tipsy voice while she closes her eyes. - "I just... love you..."

The brunette falls asleep and the blonde just stares at he; Emily's words blow in Alison's mind and, the blonde just takes a deep breath while she softly grabs Emily's head and put it in her lap. Emily doesn't wake up but, a big smile appears in her face when she feels the soft warm lap of the blonde. And, Alison just stay there, caressing the head of the drunk brunette while she sees her sleep...

Samara whispers while she sees them at the distance. - "You know you love someone when you can spend the entire night, just sitting by her side, seeing her sleep..."

The next morning, Emily wakes up and her eyes gets wildy open when she recalls the events of the previous night; she notices her head is on the lap of an sleeping Alison and, blush puts color in her cheeks. In a jump, Emily stands up from the sofa and stares at the blonde who's sleeping...

Emily smiles. *She didn't leave me alone..."

The blonde looked uncomfortable in the position she was, so, Emily slowly moves her and lies Alison down on the sofa; she even put a blanket above the blonde and, the brunette whispers while she stares at the sleeping face of Alison...

Emily. - "You don't need to hear this but, I need to say it to you..." (Deep breath) "I love you Ali and, it's because I love you that I'm realizing I can't be selfish with you..." (She caresses Alison's hair and says with a sad voice) "I don't deserve you..." (Sad sigh) "I don't deserve you because I always make bad choices that hurt you and I would rather prefer to die than keep hurting you, I'd rather live miserable the rest of my life and spending my last final years remembering how stupid I was for letting you go than keep hurting you..." (Sad sigh) "We're so broken, we're so messed up with everything that has happened in our lives: A, AD... after everything that has happened in our lives, I'm not sure if one day, we will really be okay but that's no excuse to keep hurting us..." (Sigh) "I can't change the past... I'll not change and there's no apology in this world that encompasses all the reasons we're wrong for each other but, I'm not sorry for loving you... I'm not sorry I met you... I'm not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything... I'm not sorry that you're the one that has made me feel so in love..." (Sad chuckle) "We've been terrible persons... not just you... me too... we've been horrible to each other, we've made all the wrong choices and between all the choices I've made, this will prove to be the worse one but I can't keep hurting you and hurting me so... I'm stepping back..." (She kisses Alison's front-head and says) "I'm not sorry for loving you Ali and, I just want you to be happy, I want you to be with someone who someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you so I guess the point of this long run-on sentence it's: be happy Ali... the simple act of being in love with you, it's enough for me so, forget about my selfish wish and, just be happy with someone whether Samara or some man/girl that you haven't even met yet... just be happy..."

Emily leaves and, when she does it, Alison opens her eyes and, a tear fall from her eyes...

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_There are times in our lives when we perceive love negatively. After a breakup, during fights, in case of unrequited love, we are so vulnerable, that we refuse to picture our lives without the one person who means the world to us. Then again, there are times when someone loves us so much, we feel guilty for not being able to return the love that is normally expected. Why It's scary being loved? Maybe because life is complicated and all too often it throws you off balance by sending you the right person at the wrong time... maybe we're not supposed to love till we're able to love ourselves first..._ **

* * *

 

**_Some months later..._ **

Alison – "Is that all?"

Samara says while she closes her trunk. - "Yep... all the boxes..."

Alison nods and she spaces out, thinking it looks like it was yesterday when Samara moved in...

Alison mumbles. - "So Oregon...?"

Samara nods & chuckles. - "Yeah..."

Alison. - "Are you excited?"

Samara. - "Uhmmm... I think so..."

Alison raises an eye-brow. - "You think so...?"

Samara chuckles, looking at the confused look of Alison...

Samara says with a little of sadness while she's looking at Alison - "It's not what I thought I was going to get but..." (Sad smile) "But it's a good opportunity for me..."

Alison says with a guilty concern. - "I'm sorry..."

Samara shakes her head. - "Don't apologize for following your gut..." (She hugs her and says) "I love you Alison..."

Alison smiles and hugs her while she says. - "I love you too..."

They say their goodbyes and, Alison stays in there, staring at the road till someone arrives...

Emily. - "Ali?"

Alison gest out of her mind and she looks surprised when the brunette gets closer...

Emily says with a shy voice. - "You called me, you said that..."

Alison. - "Oh, yeah, come in..."

Emiliy smiles and follows the blonde; when Alison called her that morning, a tiny ray of hope appeared in Emily's life but, it takes her a moment to realize that the call didn't mean anything else since the blonde has already packed all her things...

Emily mumbles. - "You're really leaving..."

Alison nods while she's looking for some boxes...

Emily bites her lips, she doesn't want to look sad, but she can't avoid it. Trying to hide her pain, she decides to talk about something else and the 1st thing that comes to her mind is...

Emily. - "Where is Samara?!"

The brunette scolds herself as soon as she said it and, Alison just chuckles looking at the face that Emily was making...

Alison says while she grabs some boxes. - "She just left to Oregon..."

Emily says surprised. - "What?!"

Alison. - "You look surprised... maybe you didn't know that she got an offer to become the school principale of a prestigious school in Oregon. She wanted to escort me to the airport but, I told her that I was ok going alone, I didn't want her to drive at night because of me..."

Emily tries to catch up with what Alison is saying but it's too much information. Alison puts some boxes in front of Emily and, the brunette's still confused, the blonde notices it...

Alison. - "You look very surprised?"

Emily gasps, she wants to say something but, when she stares at the boxes and sees what's inside, she stays more speachless than before...

Emily says while opening the boxes. - "What is this?! Is this...?"

Alison nods. - "Yeah, my baby clothes and baby's toys... etc... everything is in perfect conditions, my mom wrapped everything so well that it seems new..."

Emily nods and she smiles while she grabs what's inside the boxes...

Alison. - "I already sold the house and I'm putting in charity lots of thing but when I found this, I thought you may want to keep it... for the twins..."

Emily. - "You're giving me this for the twins...?"

Alison nods and, she blushes when Emily stares at her with deer eyes. The blonde avoids eye-contact and says while she grabs some other boxes...

Alison. - "My flight it's at 7pm but, I'll pass by before going to the airpot to say goodbyes to your mom and your kids... if that's ok with you..."

Emily takes a deep breath, it felt sad each time that Alison talked about Grace & Lilly like if they weren't their kids. In silence, Emily sees Alison walking from one point to another, moving boxes, preparing everything to leave and, the brunette says...

Emily. - "I... I thought you were going to Africa with Samara..."

Alison takes a deep breath and says while she labels some boxes. - "We talked about it... about what could mean going together and, we decided that the best for us is to go in differents ways..."

Emily. - "What? Why? I thought..." (Gulps) "You... you looked so happy together..."

Alison stops doing what she was doing and says while she stares at Emily into the eyes...

Alison. - "You know, Sam told me once: 'We accept the love we think we deserve' and, I just realized that I can't love someone, really love someone if I can't love myself 1st so..." (She continues labeling boxes and says) "So, I let her go... she let me go and I'm going to Africa with my brother, I hope I'll find myself there and maybe one day, I'll be able to love myself like I should..."

Emily nods and says while she process the information. - "So... you... You're leaving alone..."

Alison nods. - "Yep..."

Emily. - "And You're single now...?"

Alison nods

Emily. - "You..."

Alison cuts her off. - "Emily, I don't want to be rude but I still have to do lots of stuffs so..." (She opens the door for Emily and says) "If you don't mind..."

Emily sadly chuckles. - "Yeah... off course, I... I'll let you do your thing..."

Alison smiles and, leaves the door open while she keeps getting ready for her trip. Emily just grabs the boxes that Alison was giving her for the girls and, walks to the door. The brunette gazes at the busy blonde one last time before leaving the house... very sad...

** _ *** Alison's narrative *****_

_**All we really need to survive is one person you truly love and who truly loves us back…** _

* * *

 

_**(In the Fields house)** _

Pam says while rocking one of the twins. - "They're too little to drink formula milk..."

Emily sighs while she's changing the diaper of the other twin. - "They'll be ok, mom..."

Pam looks at Emily and asks. - "And you? Are you going to be ok if Alison leaves the country?"

Emily gasps with her mother's question; she's not sure how to reply that but, when she receives a text, everything gets more clear for her...

Alison's text: ' _Sorry, I'll not be able to pass by, say my hellos to your mom and your babies. Take care Em, bye..."_

Emily freezes reading the message over and over, the gears in her brain turn and then something happen, something that it took her too long to realize...

Pam says while she sees Emily running out the house. - "Emy?! Where are you going?!"

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something. But we can't be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they'll never be the same, for better or for worse..._ **

* * *

 

In the airport, Alison was reading a magazine while she was waiting to be called. She had time to pass by Emily's house but, she knew that if she saw the girls, she wouldn't be able to leave. Since Grace & Lilly came to this world, Alison fell in love with them and more than anything, she wishes she could be closer to them but, trying to don't hurt Emily, trying to don't stamps over Emily's feelings; Alison has always put a big wall of distance between her and the girls. She couldn't commit with them for a happy ever after so, the best thing she could do is to stay away from them and don't hurt them; just like Emily did for her...

Time flew fast and the boarding for her flight started. Alison has never liked to wait in the line, so she waits till the last minute to get close to the gate…

Ready to board, she tries to step forward, but she freezes in front of the gate when someone yells " ** _I love you…"._**  With a shocking face, Alison turns her head and, faces the sweaty brunette, who is trying to catch her breath after running all over the airport. Face to face, they stare at each other, wondering what will happen next…

**_*** Emily's narrative ***_ **

**_We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we're willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we'll find ourselves exactly where we need to be, we will find what we need to say… before it's too late…_ **

Emily gasps out of air. - "Ali..."

Alison. - "Emily?! Wh-...?"

Emily. - "Is there something I need to say..."

It takes her another second to catch her breath and, when she's ready to talk from the heart, she stands in front of the blonde, leaving a small gap between them.

Alison looks at her into the eyes and says. - "Em...?"

Emily looks at her into the eyes and says. - "I'll just have this massive corny speech and then you can decides to leave or to stay..."

Alison frowns, this is very confused and, looking at her shocking face, Emily gets even more nervous but, it's too late to chicken out now...

Emily. - "This is by far the dumbest thing I've ver done in my entire life, so dumb in fact I can't... oh... but I'm gonna..."

The brunette starts rambling and Alison raises an eye-brow...

Alison. - "Em?" (She looks at the gate and says) "I've to go, I've..."

The blonde was staring at the gate but she turns her head towards the brunette when Emily says...

Emily. - "Ali, I love you, I've loved you since we were in brownies..."

Alison blushes

Emily. - "I thought becoming a mom and being in love with you, it was everything and, I was wrong... you... you're everything..."

Alison blushes. - "Em... I've to..."

Emily cuts her off. - "I'm so screwed that I've forgotten how to act like a normal human being..."

They announce the last call for the boarding and Alison looks towards the gate but, Emily grabs her from the shoulders, forcing her to look at her...

Emily pleads. - "Just listen me, please..."

Alison nods and, Emily knows she's late, she knows she's asking too much but she needs to risk it all if she doesn't want to live with another regret in her life...

Emily. - "We've played games, we have lied and tricked people to avoid the truth and, the idea of letting anyone close to us is terrifying for obvious reasons but, the truth is... the truth is..." (She locks her gaze on those blue eyes and confesses) "The thruth is that I can't imagine waking up knowing that I won't see you..."

Alison gulps hard. - "Em..."

Emily says with watery-eyes. - "The truth is I love you... I've been always in love with you but I've just been too stupid and scared to pursuit it and, well... now... I'm just scared but I love you and, I'm not gonna stop loving you, Ali... I realize this comes at a very inopportune time for you again but, I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you..."

Alison. - "What favor...?"

Emily. - "Let me make you happy... let me love you... let me do everything in my power to prove you I deserve you..." (Nervous chuckle) "That sounds like 3 berries doesn't it?"

Alison doesn't say a word, she just zones out a moment till Emily holds her hands and says...

Emily. - "I love you and, I'm not gonna stop loving you. Ali, I can't live without you, I don't want to live without you, so... please don't get in that plane... don't go anywhere..."

They stare at each other in silence and a tiny ray of hope rises in Emily's heart till Alison steps back and walks towards the gate...

Emily. - "Ali...?"

Alison says with tears in her eyes, not able to look at her into the eyes. - "I'm sorry... I... I've to go..."

The blonde crosses the gate and vanishes from Emily's sight... just like Emily's heart vanishes from her body without Alison's presence...

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_I decides to live by a new motto 'Go big or go home'. It's like either you're ready to commit and go for it or don't do ti at all. It applies to everything; relationships, sports, work... that's what I decide to live by... that's how I desire to live by... so what will be this time; what will my gut tell me to do...?_ **

* * *

 

**_(In the Fields house)_ **

Emily drops her car keys on the bowl next to the door; she moves like a zombie since she's not sure how she'll manage so much pain, so much sorrow. She wishes she could disconect herself from reality but when she hears a crying, she sighs deeply because she can't break apart since she has two girls pending on her...

Pam says while she notices the pale face of Emily. - "You're back... where did you go?"

Emily doesn't reply, she doesn't want to talk, she just holds the crying baby and presuming that Grace is hungry, she says...

Emily mumbles trying to contain her tears. - "Could you..." (Hard gulp) "Could you please make a bottle for her...?"

Pam wants to ask so many things, she wants to know why Emily looks so broken but, for now, she decides to just nod and prepare the bottle. Emily stays alone with her twins; she looks at them, and Alison's face crosses her mind; tears start to fall without stop, followed by sobs and a silent crying. Now, there were 3 babies crying: Grace, Lilly and Emily. The brunette waves her head between the two babies and says while she keeps holding Grace on her arms...

Emily sobs. - "You know what girls? I always thought that there was this one perfect person for everybody in the world, you know? I used to think and really believe that there was one true love for everyone and if you found that person... well... the rest of the world would just magically fade away and, the two of you would just be inside this kind of protective bubble where true love would always work out but there's no bubble... it doesn't work that way..." (Sad chuckle) "Yeah... all sounded so good to me: growing up, falling in love, getting married... it all sounded so good but it's all a scam..." (Sad voice) "And love... that's the biggest scam of all..." (She says with a wrenching heartbroken voice) "There's no such thing as true lov-..."

Alison. - "Stop it! Just stop right there!"

Emily can't believe the voice she's hearing, she can't believe who's standing in the frame door...

Emily gasps. - "Ali..."

The blonde drops her bag on the floor and walks towards them; she grabs Lilly who was crying in her crib and, smiles to the baby. This is the 1st time she holds one of them and it's so overwhelmed that a tear fall from her blue eyes...

Emily gulps. - "Ali, what are you doing here?"

Alison rocks Lilly till the little one stops crying and says to the baby girl that's in her arms...

Alison looks at the twins and says to them. - "Well, here's the thing. Your mom's speech sucks..."

Emily sadly chuckles

Alison looks at Emily and smirks. - "That's not a joke..." (She looks at Lilly and says to her) "In fairness, I didn't know where she was going with that, but I think we can all agree it was headed in the kind of depressing... way..."

Emily looks down and Alison just takes a deep breath while she gazes towards Emily. The little girls stop crying with the presence of Alison and their little eyes are focused on the blonde when she says...

Alison. - "Your mom, not this depressing version of her, your actual mom believes in grand romantic gestures..."

Emily shily looks up and, locks her eyes with Alison...

Alison smiles to Emily. - "Your mom believes in the existence of one soul mate. And it's easy to just look at her and say: ' _You don't know what you're talking about. You are wrong'_. But I'm not so sure..."

Emily. - "Ali...?"

Alison gets closer to Emily and she gives Lilly to her; the brunette is able to hold her two twins, one in each arm and, Alison smiles since she doesn't believe there's another more beautiful view than this one...

Alison caresses the head of Lilly & Grace and says to them. - "Let me tell you a secret: I met my soul mate when I was six years old. I went out for ice cream with my dad and when we were crossing the street, I saw a moving truck..." (She looks at Emily and smiles while she recalls the 1st time she saw her) "This little brunette went out the car, wearing a pony tail and the ugliest dress I had ever seen..."

Emily and Alison chuckle

Alison. - "Yeah, the dress was very ugly but even then, I could't put my gaze away from her..."

Emily looks at Alison and blushes. - "Ali..."

Alison. - "I told to myself that day:  _it's no big deal. What she makes me feel is no big deal..._ ", and that was the first lie that I ever said in my life..."

Emily blushes and, she blushes even more when Alison caresses her cheek...

Alison. - "I met my soul mate when I was six years old and I've loved her every minute, every day since I first saw her. I have loved her through the birth of you, our two perfect children..."

Emily can't hide the big smile on her face, this is the 1st time that Alison refers to the twins like their own and, it brings so much joy to Emily...

Alison. - "I have loved her, even when I've hated her..."

They both chuckle and once again, they lock ther eyes in each other when Alison says to Emily...

Alison. - "I'm broken..."

Emily. - "Me too..."

Alison. - "I'm screwed up..."

Emily. - "Me too..."

Alison. - "I still have to learn how to love myself and how to love others..."

Emily nods. - "Me too..."

They sadly smile at each other, realizing that they've so many issues but even yet...

Alison. - "And I don't know if it's gonna work out, I don't know what gonna happen." (She waves her look between Emily and the girls _)_ "I'm sorry, girls. I can't give you the certitude that it will work. But I can promise you this: I will never stop trying..."

Emily smiles a lot...

Alison looks at Emily into the eyes and says. - "I can live without you but I don't want to..." (She smiles) "I don't ever want to, because when you find the one, you never give up, right?"

Emily nods without stop; the brunette puts the twins on their crib and as soon as her arms are free, she hugs the blonde with so much love...

Emily. - "Say it again?"

Alison teases. - "Say what again?"

Emily breaks the hug and looks at Alison with an adorable pout; the blonde chuckles, Alison brushes Emily's hair behind its ear and says...

Alison. - "So, I was 6 six the 1st time I saw you and..."

The blonde talks and talks and Emily just stares at her with love and, adoration. Emily leans for a kiss and, the blonde smiles when their lips softly touch...

**_*** Alison's narrative ***_ **

**_Just because we can live without something, it doesn't mean we have to... Love, love is messy, love is not perfect but if you're determinated to be happy in this life, you've to give it a chance, sometimes even more than one chance because after all... what are we without true love...?_ **

* * *

 

**_THE END :D!_ **


End file.
